A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:{Moderator note: two questions combined}Okay i just wanna know , i lost my virginity about two year ago since then i havent had sex ,it was against my religion and culture to do that .Im due to get marrid in 2 months will i be tight i know i wont be a virgin ever again , but is there any way to make you seem like a virgin w/o surgery or kegals ? Okay ladies i need to know has any one used alum befor ? i heard that if i put some in bath water it will make my vigina tight ??...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): just be who you are warts and all, no pun intended. Tight!!!i have plenty of sex and just as tight as ever.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (17 April 2011):
 Building your marriage on a lie is never a good way to start!
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 April 2011):
 Your in the UK... tell him your not a virgin, he can call of the wedding if he wants to, but there is nothing else he can do.
You had sex, it was your choice, you knew what your religion and culture expected, but that didn't stop you. Because your in the UK, your husband should be more understanding, and if not, marry someone else, you have choices if your living here.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2011): Is the marriage arranged?
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 I absolutely agree with the others; you must come clean and tell the truth. Having secrets is not the way to a happy and healthy marriage. The bigger the secret too, the bigger the agony when the truth comes out. And the truth will come out. You must tell him before you get married, that is only fare. If it is meant to be, all will be well, and you will have a marriage that is strong from the beginning. Marriage is hard work, and requires a team effort; the two of you.
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A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (17 April 2011):
 Just wondering: why is it you want so badly for him to think you are a virgin? Is it because you think he will reject you if he finds out otherwise?
I think entering into a relationship with feeling you have to pretend you are someone you are not is a bad start.
I know I am speaking from a Western viewpoint where there is a lot of emphasis upon personal authenticity in a relationship. Your culture might not value this at all. But in every religion there is an idea of repentance or forgiveness for mistakes (if you feel it is one) and if he is truly religious I would hope he would not hold this past action against you.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (17 April 2011):
That is one of the saddest most dishonest things you can do to your future husband. Instead of hiding it, be honest about it. If he loves you he will be able to see over that.
Good luck.
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