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Waiting for Your Love as They Explore: Foolish?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 March 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *averickjuniper writes:

Recently separated from my girlfriend of four and a half years. We are both you, college aged individuals. The breakup was on her terms and she claims that it was because of our lack of common interests. I strongly believe that the real main reason for the breakup was because she has dated no one else accept me and we started dating when she was sixteen. The breakup came out of no where and surprised me greatly. Especially considering just days prior we both shared our emotions with one another, were intimate, and sharing so much strong compassion with each other. rarely did we fight, I treated her well and she treated me well. I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me. I feel, as does her mother, that she simply has become scared that she has not explored her options, and the fact that she has allot of things involving school going on in her life.

So, finally, here is my question. In my mind I do not think it is over. We left on good terms and we are giving one another space and will meet in a few weeks to just talk about classes and what not(no relationship talk) Is it foolish of me to wait for her for months or even years from now?

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A male reader, Maverickjuniper United States +, writes (29 March 2011):

Maverickjuniper is verified as being by the original poster of the question

She is not like that. Thanks, though. I will look for another answer.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011):

Wow, this is where a lot of couples go wrong

Step#1. Regardless of what you decide to do, listen up: SHE DOES NOT INTEND TO WAIT FOR YOU.

It sounds like she wants to see other people. She is a girl. She does not have to put much effort into finding other people now (unlike you, a guy.) All she has to do is not turn down guys that make passes at her. And chances are, she won't turn them all down. She will see them, get to know them, and probably fuck some of them before too long.

If you can't live with that, then you'd better talk to her and get clear about what is happening here. Is this a permanent breakup? A "break"? What are the rules of the break? What are you each allowed to do with other people and what is off limits? (Whatever you allow, assume she will do it. At least that much if not more.)

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