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Virgin in need of help!

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Question - (7 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm a single virgin and I'm so horny to the point where I just want to give it up. However, I also want to wait for the right guy. Masturbating and porn isn't satisfying me at all. How do I deal with this? Please don't tell me to find a boyfriend cause I wouldn't be here if I did have one.

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A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (8 July 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntI feel your pain! I'm older than you, and I've never done THAT with anyone. I was raised strict Southern Baptist and I don't believe everything I was taught (I'm still a Christian, but I'm a lot more open minded) and I don't even remember vowing to save sex for marriage, BUT... I made a promise that I wouldn't have sex with "just anyone." I'm not necessarily saving sex for marriage but I don't want to sleep with someone who's going to throw me away like garbage. It wouldn't be worth getting hurt like that; I wanna share it with someone who loves me mutually.

It just frustrates the hell outta me, to have these desires... but then I remember exactly what it IS that I desire. I don't want some guy to just put his dick in me... I want to have physical love and be mutually cherished. Sleeping with just anyone wouldn't feel my heart, because without mutual love, it's no damn good.

Well, I kept my promise... but it was really hard. I have days where I feel like I'm going to DIE from sexual tension. I'll be honest, sometimes I just want to sleep with an entire fútbol (soccer) team (as long as it's not América-- the águilas!! YUCK! I'd rather be celibate).

I didn't mean to steal your post, I just hoped that by understanding your feelings I could offer encouragement and perspective.

I'm not going to tell you TO find a boyfriend, but I ask you this: Do you want a boyfriend? I'm assuming you're straight but it's okay if you're not. I could give some ideas about HOW to find one. Maybe you live in an area where there ARE no decent guys! That's my problem! I live in a town in North Carolina and my hometown is a disgusting shithole. No decent guys, and the indecent ones just have sex with their relatives!!

My hometown makes me want to kill myself! But instead, I'm moving. I love Mexico and Spain equally, they are both amazing countries but Mexico is more feasible right now. And Mexican guys are really cute and sweet, I would totally marry one if I could find one that liked me back.

Off on a tangent there, sorry. But what I'm saying is that it's hard to find someone if you're in the wrong place. Would it be possible to move to a town where there are some guys!!

Just hands off my Mexican guys!! They're MINE!!

Jajaja just kidding :)

Anon female: That's good advice... but I'm curious, why the hell are people asking you something private like, "Are you a virgin?" You don't have to answer that! How disrespectful of these people (unless it's a doctor or nurse)!! Just say, "I'm not going to answer that."

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010):

i know exactly how you feel!, i turned 16 yesterday and had the exact same problem i was ccontinuously debating shall i get lose it or should i keep it. unfortunaatley me and this boy i have known a while was doing things and one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. i didnt want it to happen therefor i made him stop now i still feel a slight bit of regret because i didnt do enough to stop it but deep down i wanted it to. now when people ask if im a virgin and i have to say no, it doesnt feel right. i really recommend you wait for that guy hun coming from someone who was in the same boat as you 3weeks ago. it caused alot of problems with alot of people. goodluck babe! follow your heart and use your head wisely :) xx

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