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Virgin having trouble getting it up

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 October 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Im a 19 year old virgin and i have went to have sex with girls recently and on both occasions my penis has failed to erect. On both occasions i had been drinking and i have no problem with getting erections otherwise. i also think i need to relax when in bed with a girl. I would appreciate some advice. Cheers

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009):

Try not to worry too much about it. It could very well be the drink, so if you want to have sex just remember a little bit might help relax you but don't overdo it.

If it's not the alcohol it might simply be that she's not the right girl for you. The same thing happened to me when I was eighteen. In fact it wasn't until fairly recently that I had sex and I admit to having a little chemical assistance. That might be an option IF it's really bothering you. I don't think you should worry at this stage, but even if you don't use it just knowing you have the option might ease your mind and give you that added confidence.

Feel free to talk to your doctor about it. Tell him everything (remember there's nothing you can say he hasn't heard a million times before), and ask if viagra (or something) would be appropriate. He'll probably have free samples for you to try. Remember to ask about dosage, because often a whole 100mg pill isn't necessary. And remember, you shouldn't feel like you HAVE to use it, and you certainly shouldn't have to depend on it at your age. But just having it as an option might be all you need to give you that bit of confidence and take your mind off it. Then hopefully you won't even need it.

And remember also that if the girl really cares about you she won't mind (as long as she understands it's not her fault) so don't be embarrassed with her if it happens again. Feel free to talk to her about it. The more comfortable you both are, the less focus you will put on it and the less likely it will happen again. And there are plenty of other things you can do to please a girl that she might even prefer!

I wish you well.

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A female reader, Blackbird86 United States +, writes (17 October 2009):

Well, it is commonly known that alcohol and the male libido don't usually mix. Some guys don't have an issue, where others like you do. For next time I would suggest no more than one drink or nothing at all.

Also, you are right in your own assessment that you have to be relaxed. I will also give you another heads-up, men that are sexually inexperienced tend not to last very long the first few times, but it will get better. Don't feel bad, its natural!

The best thing to do is to relax and be in the moment.

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