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Very depressed about bad sexual experience and small penis!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 27 October 2010)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone,

I am 21 years old and I have a small penis and have a very general questions. Should I look into some type of enlargement methods?

I admit i have very low confidence about myself and most likely this is the more of an issue than my size. However, when I was 15 or 16 I used to be very large 5'11' and about 260 lbs. Girls would never even acknowledge my presence. So I started to work and in 3 years lost over 50 lbs. Now guys are jealous of my muscular shoulder and chest, but I inside I'm screaming ("atleast you can fully satisfy a woman and i can't"). Also woman compliment my body all the time and say I'm a very good looking man, but I seriously don't feel confident.

I am also a very late bloomer. The first time I had sex was at 20 with my only girlfriend. Part of me broke up with her because she would publicly humiliate me about it because i told her how i feel about it. After I broke up with her, you can only imagine how much worse the insults got. She would tell all my friends and it made me feel much worse. Now she is out of my life completely and I only slept with one other girl. I told her how I felt about it and she said she didn't care, but I felt horrible because I "feel out of her a few times" while having sex. Other circumstances have caused us not to talk anymore (mother got made at age difference) and we are still friends.

I constantly look at stats about size, trying get my hopes up but it only makes me more depressed. I don't even know my real size because of different angles. Sometimes its a little under 5" over the top and almost 5.5" along side. Then there are times where I would measure other objects along side of it to compare it.

Now its very hard for me too find a girl to sleep with let alone find a girlfriend, now that one girl found out about my "dirty little secret". Worse she made it a point to spread it after we broke up.

My question is should I just look into some pills or extenders or just be happy with what i got? Obviously if I work out my body I can gain confidence. But you can't work out your penis (and believe me I tried jelqing it does not work). Should I give in and talk to a doctor and have him give me best suggetion? Obvisouly I can't find a girl who lkes me for who I am.

p.s. - When i was 5 years old i had surgery because I had a hypospadeius penis. Also I do have a reasonable amount of fordyce spots on my penis. (The look like small pimples but I had them as a virgin and they are not an STD). So it could be childhood trauma as well.

View related questions: acne, broke up, confidence, depressed, gain confidence, jealous, my penis, std

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks people,

I think my main problem was i was just thinking to much about it. I guess I have to learn to stop analyzing my situation and just be happy.

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A female reader, kalykush United States +, writes (26 October 2010):

kalykush agony auntwell if you are using steroids that will shrink your package, and that damage can never be reversed.

pills are just false advertisements they are placebos... meaning you will take them because the pretty girl on the TV AD told it WORKS WONDERS... you will imagine in your mind that you see a difference, however, nothing has changed...

As mentioned by someone else... surgery is your best bet... just because you are lacking in the length area doesnt mean you are lacking in the GIRTH area... you have be 5.5" long but have a 3"round package :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010):

At around 5", you are a bit below average, but not horribly small, and certainly not a "dirty little secret". I think you've just had a lot of pressure put on you about your penis...the surgery, worry over angiokeratomas (normal in most men), a bad girlfriend and possibly the prevalence of very large penises in porn. So a run of bad experiences has made you feel inadequate, when you have just not found the right girl. Many guys at 21 have not even had sex...even guys with normal or large penises. I'm not a woman, but I have been with women who have had smaller than your size range, and they have not said anything derogatory about them. Remember...6 inches is an AVERAGE...that means half are smaller, half are bigger. There are probably a lot more guys in your range than you realize. I think as long as you are 5 or above, you will be OK for 90% of women out there. Don't obsess over pills and pumps that wont do crap for you. Your confidence is more of a turnon than your penis size.

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A male reader, soon567 United States +, writes (26 October 2010):

Dude really your over the top here. Every guy that's sleep with a woman going to feel like he's inept to her. Find away to get this under control. There's other ways to please her besides your penis as well. learn and you will be ok. Only a few guys a lucky enough to be that confidence.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (26 October 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntThe average length of an erect penis is 6inches, 4.85 inches in girth. Not erect, about 4inches. There's various supplements on the market you can and a penis pump that is supposed to lengthen your penis. I haven't heard any of the pills working and the penis pump can lead to tearing of skin, scarring, and loss of sexual function. Your best bet would to have a surgery to lengthen your penis..Now I can only imagine how costly the surgery would be and the health risks involved. But if you feel it's necessary to gain back your confidence then by all means look into it.

This ex girlfriend sounds like a bitch. Did you tell her of your insecurity or was she just making fun of the fact you were a virgin? Regardless, she's one bad apple, not all women are like that. In fact most are considerate and trusting of your secrets. So please, because of her actions don't assume all women are like that. The second girl is like many who could care less about your size, it's more of that you know how to use it. Now, I will say there are women out there that size does matter.

Bottom line don't let a bad experience put a damper on your self esteem and make you feel like less of a person..because you're not. You've got the complete package what's missing is some confidence. Now how can you fix it? Look into what I said.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010):

Dont worry about it! you are fineeeee! Many of my friends had boyfriends with different penis' small and intersting and this is fine! just dont have sex rite off the bat. Make them work for it!!!

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