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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: (first of all I'm 19 not 26) My bf of 2 years never ever mentioned money or cost in front of me. Always he tells me "do you want something" and he buys me stuff and all and I always tell him to stop because he is spending to much money and he would always reply "I don't want you to say that". Well up until a few months ago. Now almost everyday he tells me how much money he has in his pocket (which are very little), how much he pays for the car, the electricity and everything. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. When we go out I sometimes pay for ice cream or drinks or dinner. I have a summer job and I don't make much, besides it's only for the summer, when I go back to school I don't make a cent. Now I don't want to go out because I feel guilty and uncomfortable when he says that he doesn't have money and start to tell me what he pays. About twice a week he asks me why don't we watch a movie and eat POPCORN, why don't we go OUT TO EAT, stuff that costs money. We are planing to go to the sea, I got some money saved up but I'm now uncomfortable to go because of all this. He wants to do all these things with me but I feel guilty, I don't know how to react then he starts to talk about all these things he has to pay and he doesn't have a lot of money. Help
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (27 July 2010):
 Maybe he's feeling unappreciated or a distance growing between you and is trying to make you notice all that he does for you? Stupid question... but why don't you just talk to him and tell him not to talk about money with you?
He had no problem saying "I don't want you to say that" to you, so why can't you just say that to him?
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Sounds like he has suddenly started having financial problems that he didn't have before.
Have a long and good talk, and tell him about your concerns and how uncomfortable this makes you feel. I know where you are coming from, and it is very uncomfortable when you want to do something/plan to do something, but all you can think about is the money money money, and can not afford, and the complaints, and how it must be so much better to just never do anything that costs money so the talk about money (or the lack of money) will just stop.
I mean, aren't you thinking: "why does he want to go out to eat when he keeps repeating how little money he has?!". Because that is what I was thinking when I was in a similar situation.
All in all I concluded that I was worrying too much about things that were not my problem! Just sit back, and spend your money the way YOU want to spend it. And let HIS money issues STAY HIS ISSUE. It is not yours. Stop worrying about it. You are not his mother. If he complains let him complain. If he wants to go out to eat, assume that he has the money and go out to it. It is not your job to worry about his economy. That is his own job, and his own responsibility.
Maybe things aren't as problematic as they seem for him. Maybe he just needs to rant out and share the burden, but actually is on control of his economy, and has the money to go to the sea, or go out to eat. Whatever it is, it is not your concern at all. It is his economy. And until you are married, his money problems are not your money problems. Let him deal with it and stop caring so much. Saves you the wrinkles and gray hairs.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): He's apparently having a hard time financially, you should be understanding and I think it shows that you're closer to eachother now, why wouldn't he talk about his financial situation, maybe theres nothing you can do, but just listen to him when he complains, comfort him, talk to him about it but don't force him. good luck.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 He may be getting short on cash or getting in or is in debt. You could try talking to him over it just ask if everything is all right and reassure him he doesnt need to spend money to keep you interested in him.
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