A
female
age
18-21,
*ee0404
writes:I'm in love with someone and I don't know if he loves me back. I fell in love with him when he was my teacher....at first it was due to that fact-because he was my teacher and so it was daring!!! But my affection has grown over the years...for about 3 years now. There is always flirting between us..but I don't know if it's just messing. Anytime I see him there's always that look that lasts for like 3 seconds but seems like forever. We get on so well and he makes me laugh! My feelings have been growing for him, that now, instead of being the initial "bitch!" I am around him I'm now nervous. People have said it to me that he really likes me...even my dad has noticed the body language between us and said it to me...that it's definitely more than friends....and he's usually right. But I can't find myself believing anyone. Sometimes I think he feels the same but I'm overcome by the thought that God no how could he. This stems from a relationship where I was emotionally and mentally abused and used for 7 years (and I'm only in my early 20s!!!) I'm over that situation now but it has left me scared to love anyone...so this situation is no more fun and new it's scary because I'm actually in love with him. Whenever anyone says oh ye guys should definitely be together there's always that God no shut up from both him and I. We kissed 2 years ago...after a build-up of tension and flirting...but it was disastrous...as he turned around and said I'm sorry that shouldn't have happened I still see myself as your teacher...but then he kissed me again???? although at first I laughed it off...now I'm upset about it..because what if me thinking he feels the same is all in my little head?! That's the question I'm asking...I can't listen to friends and family. I love being in his company and having our long talks when we see each other about everything and anything...we're really comfortable in each other's company and respect each other. Sometimes I think his defiance is because he too is scared...but I just don't know. I'd love to ask him but I'm afraid of the outcome. Part of me is listening to everyone saying he's crazy about me but is scared because everyone keeps saying it to him, and then I think no way...how could he?!? I think that he thinks I fancy him...so part of me thinks that his flirting and the way he acts around me is because he knows I like him and so he's just playing on it.But that doesn't explain the way we are around each other...the looks across the room...the flirting...the always being there when we need the other. So I don't know but I really need an answer and put my head to rest....everytime I see him I always get emotional because my affection keeps growing and growing and so I need to know the truth...but not from him...yet!!! :)
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fell in love, flirt, my teacher Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pepper27  + ♥, writes (28 January 2009):
 Hiya hunny
First I'm sorry that I didn't answer sooner I hope this can still help you...
First can I say I totally understand how hard it is to believe someone after being in an abusive relationship and I believe that only those who have been in one will understand what goes through your head and why you question things so often, You are guarding your heart which is totally understandable...You don't want to be back in a situation like that and will be very careful Hun, I no how that feels...
This friend of yours defiantly seems to care about you in a relationship way he has kissed you before but feeling maybe a little guilty of being your previous teacher maybe holds him back..
He has stayed around for a long time and because of this your feelings of trust have grown for him and also your feeling of love. I think you should talk with him love, You have nothing to loose, This friendship you have seems very stable and wonderful and it really looks like there are feelings of the same kind coming from him, He is scared because he was your teacher plus if you talk with him about all sorts then he must no about your past so he may have been giving you lots of time to really get to no him and put your trust in him..This is a chance of happiness for you and I would take it you deserve it...Once again I'm sorry for not answering sooner YOU TAKE CARE AND KEEP US POSTED WITH TONS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, Lee0404 +, writes (25 January 2009):
Lee0404 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTevote...thank you for your kind words of strength....meant a lot...I need someone to tell me right you do this or you don't it's up to you instead of people telling me he's crazy about me! So thank you again!
I think I just need time to think about what to do...I'm not going to rush into anything....but I'm going to wait till the next time we talk again..like have a good conversation and then I'll know from the way he's acting...all I need is confirmation and I can only get that from him!!! I know!!!!!
Only time can tell xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Lee0404 +, writes (25 January 2009):
Lee0404 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd to Eyespy17...it's not lust...I know what lust is trust me!!!!!! And I know what being in love feels like and this is it! I just fear rejection.....And to OmegaXF...an excuse...maybe...but I am over it so it can't be an excuse!!! I know I need to work for the answer but have you ever feared rejection???...you wouldn't be human if you didn't!!! Maybe it's different for guys but that's certainly how many scorn women feel!!!! :) But thanks for your advice...it's great to see a guy's perspective...same to you Lostlover3! I do enjoy the tension you're fully correct there! That's because I love to flirt and have a laugh with any guy because it makes me feel good...who doesn't?!?!?! But then again I am afraid that if he doesn't feel the same then the fun and tension there is between us will just go...but I'm not afraid to move on....see how confused I am?!!?!?!??! Thanks again xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Tevote  + ♥, writes (25 January 2009):
 Hey there :)
The only person who can really figure this situation out is you.
You have to pick what to do...
Ask yourself questions-IF you didn't ask him how he felt, would you regret it later? I mean we only get one chance at these type of things.
I don't think he's playing with you, the fact that he kissed you and then stated that he felt he shouldn't be kissing you because he still saw himself as your teacher, but then kissed you again shows that he's fighting his own battle with his feelings for you.
I think he's probably afraid of the consequences and of what you might feel, he might even be afraid that you don't return his feelings and see him as an old man...Someone who you couldn't picture having a relationship with.
There are many things that could be and are standing in your way, but you need to decide for yourself.
I'm sure he's understanding, it sounds like you both have a close relationship already. If you just approach him with it casually, he will give you his answer.
Be ready for what it may be, and remember if you don't do it now you may never get another chance- But you need to do what you feel you should.
:) good luck, I hope all goes well :)
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A
female
reader, Lee0404 +, writes (25 January 2009):
Lee0404 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your help....He's 7 years older...which to me is nothing because I have always been attracted to older men cos I just can't stand guys my age. I am over the past...of course I have trust issues...if you knew the whole story you would too!But I'm not letting past issues dominate my life...obviously one would be a bit anxious about feeling this way about someone after what happened before...I'm CAUTIOUS and SCARED...but not letting the past ruin my life...that episode in my book is something that has given me strength and it was a learning stage for me...to not give my heart away so easily.As for his feelings...I don't know. Most of me is saying he feels the same but is scared too...I mean I was a past pupil...and please don't think it's the whole teacher things because it isn't. It's his personality and the way he treats me. I have seen other guys for the past 3 years but he's always been the one that sticks out! The next time I see...I'm not going to tell him but I will know...you know when it's there. It is already, so I'm almost sure, but I just need that extra bit of confirmation to make me see the truth that everyone else can see.Thanks for your replies guys...you're great! xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17  + ♥, writes (25 January 2009):
Just curious, how much older is he than you? (I see you are 18 to 21)
Is he currently involved with someone? I'm worried this could be lust, and not love on his part. If he has feelings for you, he should be able to say something by now. Or you should be able to say something.
If not, try writing a note, expressing your feelings. Sometimes that's easier than saying it. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, lostlover3 +, writes (25 January 2009):
you aswered your own question. There is no rush you enjoy the tension. There is no answer because you choose not to see it. Life is full of these men but you don't seem as if you would like to move on. So young yet your feelings so true. Advise enjoy then when ready tell him. You want to.
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A
male
reader, OmegaXF +, writes (25 January 2009):
 The abuse from 7years is an excuse. It left you scared to trust someone? Wow if you let that past conflict control your future you will never know the answer. Even though there's more to it. That is something you should definetly get over. The answer though isvery simple. You need to go ask him if he has the same feelings for you. Your so wound up about what others have said that your letting accusations and beliefs get the best of you without actually getting the truth. Stop being so scared and go and ask. You want the answer you need to work for it. OmegaXF
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