A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a single man(in this 30's) last year from Canada and we have been in contact for 1 year now. We only met once and had a great time and chemistry and everything(did not do anything with him at all, I'm more respectable). So, now he emails me that he isn't REALLY looking for girlfriend and doesn't want to lead me on but he still wants to hang out with me and his friends when he comes to NY. His last email he sent last week, stated "he wants me to share a piece of that ass with him." Of course I was floored and offended by it and told him that. He immediately emailed me back the same day and apologized and said he took it to far and he thought i would have taken it as flattery and I called him a douchebag and he said no one has ever called him that before. Now what? do I accept him apology and move on?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 September 2012):
 I would accept the apology. I think he was testing the water quite simply. He have already let you know that he doesn't want a relationship, but that doesn't mean he wants to live like a monk til he wants a relationship.. Hence he was tossing the "ass" out there to see if you might be up for some NSA sex.
It might have been meant as flattery... albeit a VERY clumsy and lacking in tact attempt.
And I would apologize for calling him a Douche Bag. Tit for Tat.
I would not take it to heart honestly.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 September 2012):
 Ok apparently I’m the only aunt here that thinks like an Uncle… I can’t get the whole horror at a man that you have met, that you have been in contact with for a year now… probably having a lovely online flirtation, that you have a chemistry with in person saying that you are enticing enough to want to have sex with… granted he didn’t do it with finesse… but would you have been as horrified if he had?
As a woman that thinks like a man (my fiancé says I’m a guy all the time) I think he meant it as a compliment and you over reacted.
Yes he owes you an apology for offending your delicate sensibilities.
Your comment “did not do anything with him at all, I'm more respectable” tells me that you have issues with being physical with men… whether it’s due to a religious upbringing, a holier than thou attitude, fear of the unknown or a general distaste for all things intimate and physical (on a subconscious level of course)
Calling a man a douchbag lowers you to his level.
Accept his apology as he really did not mean any harm… part ways as people that just deal with the world differently….
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (18 September 2012):
I agree with Ciar on the name calling. Don't ever lower yourself to that level again if something like this happens again.
Explain to him that no woman will see being referred to as "a piece of ass" as a compliment and that it's actually very offensive. Then tell him sorry you called him a d-bag but that with the way he referred to you and thought it was okay, you're not sure he's undeserving of the title. Also say that this will be the last time you'll be in contact with him. And then move on with your dignity intact.
When you get into a fight/argument with someone, always keep your head up high, don't yell, don't curse. Then you'll always come out on top.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (18 September 2012):
Accept his apology and tell him you're going to "share a piece of that ass" with someone that isn't a douchebag. He is a d-bag, so what? He's obviously not a good "friend" either. I'm sure you have plenty of friends, and I'm sure you don't need one that you consider a douchebag and one that sexually objectifies you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (18 September 2012):
 Accept the apology (with a simple 'thank you') and move on.It might be a good idea not to use words like 'douchebag' in future, or engage in any kind of name calling. Language like that tends to cheapen the user and the offending party (the Canadian man in this case) won't appreciate how far out of bounds they've strayed if you're not far behind. Make sense?
...............................
|
