A
male
age
36-40,
Daniel the love doctor
writes:There are many relationships that are slowly destructing because of lack of two simple things...communication and action. If your partner presents a problem to you, and you want to keep your relationship strong, then you should do the following:1. Analyze and acknowledge the problem. Communicate with your partner. Let him/her know that you understand what they're talking about- then give it serious consideration. If it's something that you can fix on your part, then acknowledge it and move on to the next phase.2. Work on it...and figure out how to make things better. This is where you make an effort to work on the problem. There are many people who just acknowledge an issue and do nothing. Or even worse, brush it off and forget about it. If your partner has a concern that's within your power to work on, then do what you have to do to keep your partner happy. For example, if your partner is telling you that he/she is feeling like they're not getting much attention, tell your partner that you hear what they're saying- then start calling more, spending more time with them, showing more how much you care, etc. Sometimes it's the little things that you do in your relationship that has the biggest effect in your partner eyes.
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (3 October 2011):
Daniel the love doctor is verified as being by the original poster of the question You've provided an excellent example of relationships that can fail because of lying, cheating, and deceiving. And yes, in many of those situations a marriage counselor/therapist cannot restore what they once had- even if the couple attempts to put in some effort on their part. There's always an exception to every rule. Though there are many cases of relationships that can't be rebuilt because of lost trust and problems, I try to focus on the ones that can. For the relationships that can be saved,it's worth making an effort. They can become at least one less statistic of a failed relationship/marriage if they communicate and put in the effort to make their relationship work. There are a lot of people who just give up after a major argument/problem in the relationship, or say "all men/women are the same", "I can't trust anybody", "I'll just cheat also" (which is a double negative and just adds to the the problem), etc. But if they could possibly work through the issue with their partner, their relationship could potentially become stronger.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 October 2011):
 While I do agree that it stems from the person's past trust issues with a previous partner, there are just some people who are untrustworthy. They project this false image, and pretty soon you've caught them in their lies.
What do you do when you're knee deep in his lies, and he's not the person you thought he was? It can't be solved through communication and action. Well, maybe just action because you need to get the hell out of there.
Or those couples that are denial about their cheating partner..He cheats, she forgives him, he keeps on doing it again and again. But she takes him back every time. There is communication, the female partner begging him to stop cheating, but not ever trusting him again. Also, there's half ass communication on his part. But really it's an empty promise. Rather than wasting time and money on a couples counselor, they should just part ways.
Sometimes that trust can't ever be restored.
...............................
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (2 October 2011):
Daniel the love doctor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're absolutely right Tennisstar. Trust is a very big thing. And it can make or break a relationship also- depending on how much of it is in a relationship.
I've commented numerous times on the importance of trust, and even written a bit about it in this article: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-top-3-fears-that-prevent-successful-relationships.html
But I don't mind sharing my thoughts a bit on that here...
When a relationship is struggling because of lack of trust, I believe the two things I've written about in this article can be applied. Communication and action.
* Communication- Speak about/confront the issue. Find the underline reason for the lack of trust- and communicate with your partner to find out how the trust can be put back into the relationship.
* Action- Actually take the necessary steps to rebuild your relationship. Even if it's baby steps...you'll be setting a more proactive, positive tone for the relationship. The couple should also seek extra counsel from a therapist, a close friend, or advisor. A third party always works well in situations, because they can be in many cases more than a mediator or extra ear, they can provide a different opinion, or allow your to view things from a different way.
Hope this answers your question. :^)
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 October 2011):
Relationships slowly destruct because lack of 3 things...communication (big one), action, and TRUST!
What have you got for a relationship struggling and heading to an end because it lacks trust?
...............................
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (30 September 2011):
Daniel the love doctor is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree 19reginna84. Thanks for providing your comment! :^)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): This is very good advice.
It is so important to acknowledge when someone says "I feel this way." Because even if the reason behind the way they feel is not a reality, it is a reality to them and it is hurting them. To just brush it off or tell them they are being irrational, annoying, and jealous is not the right solution. It only makes them feel worse!
And then once you know this bothers them, taking steps to reassure and fix the problem will build trust and show you respect them! This is the way to a healthier relationship.
...............................
|
