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Two girls, good friends, If I ask the one I like out, I think I'll upset and annoy the other one!

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey, there are these two girls that like me (im not trying to be big-headed or anything) and the problem is that they are good friends and and don't think I could go out with one and not upset and annoy the other and I do like one of them. Any suggestions?

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A female reader, Deagan United States +, writes (15 May 2012):

Deagan agony auntYou sound like a mature guy. You haven't just dived in head first. I'm glad you are thinking about the consequences now rather than later.

Just keep in mind, it's going to be a huge confidence blow to the girl you don't like. It really hurts a teenage girls confidence if they are put in the position where a guy picks one over the other. You do run the risk of damaging her self esteem and hurting their friendship.

If you really like this girl, approach it like a man asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage. CORNY, I know, but it's the best example I could come up with.

Basically, you might have to tell the friend "Look, you're a cool chick, there's nothing wrong with you at all, but I like your friend, but I don't want to ruin anything between the both of you. If it's ok, I'd like to ask your friend out."

Something like that. I feel like it's the best scenario to avoid feelings getting seriously hurt. Hopefully the friend can appreciate your honesty before asking the girl you like out.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (15 May 2012):

janniepeg agony auntYou could be walking into a love triangle. Potential problems I see is that the one who is left behind would complain that you are stealing her from her, and might even flirt with you to test how attractive she is, do stupid things to break up you both, etc. This three is a crowd has this funny dynamic. Your romance could break up their friendship. If they remain friends then you have to make sure there are secrets that she keeps to herself because you don't want her friend to know your every private detail. And because they are friends, women always would side with each other when male female relationships go wrong. If you think you are mature enough to handle this drama, if the girl is really worth the hassle, then go for it. Right now you should just be getting to know this girl and see her thoughts about upsetting her friend first, then proceed with caution.

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