A
male
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:I just recently became good friends with a former acquaintance at my school and we have been inseperable ever since. After knowing him for a few weeks, I began to realise he is attracted to men (i'm not sure if he's gay, or just bi... Every time i ask he doesn't deny it, he just shakes it off and changes the subject [i know he's uncomfortable]). Anyway, he will put his arm around my shoulder or grab and hold my wrist. I don't really care that he does it, it's just that people have began to think we're dating, which is not true, and i dont exactly want people to think that. I've told him it's awkward, but it doesn't phase him. I believe he is attracted to me, but fears this would ruin our amazing friendship. How can i tell him i understand him but i want to uphold my reputation? [the people around me arent exactly open-minded...] Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the answers guys. i pretty much caught the drift: tell him about it and find some new people to hang out with. thanks people who answered. (no, i'm not gay/bi and now i have a girlfriend.) [not because of this, we've been friends for a while.]
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy advice would be pretty much the same as the above answers, just hang out with different people for a while... i forgot to check if you were a guy or girl before asking this, but just get a g/f or b/f (again, i forgot to check your gender...)
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A
female
reader, purple1234  + ♥, writes (16 May 2008):
 if u dont want to ruin yr friendship ,and do want to keep him as a friend u need to talk to him, but be respectful about it,everyone is different, him being gay shouldnt be an issue if u want to be friends. Tell him u like him as a friend, and respect the fact he might be gay, but but u are straight and would like him to stop being affectionate in public as ppl will get the wrong idea.
His sexuality is his business, but u need to be very clear about u being straight and only wantng to be his friend. do u have a g/f? spending time with grls as well might help yr reputation. yes you can be friends but u need to talk to him.
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A
female
reader, DiovanLestat  +, writes (16 May 2008):
 Why don't you tell him, that you can't be friends with him because he may be gay or bisexual and you care what people may think.
Seriously, unless your trying to get a date with him, his sexuality is really none of your business. If you don't like him touching you, them tell him to stop. If you think that people will think your gay because your with him, then spend time with other people. Start flirting with other women, try dating.
I didn't check at first to see that you were a guy, and I was writing this thinking you were a girl. But my advice still goes.
If you value his friendship, then give him that, friendship. If you think he fancies you, make sure that he knows your not interested. Act the same way as you always have and hopefully people will see that your still same guy, albeit with a gay friend. If you can't cope with the gossip that is probably going on around then you need to talk to him and reduce the amount of contact you have with him.
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