A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:i was invovled in a fight which left one kid paralyzed and i was sentenced to 16 months in jail, i was not the one who did it tho. my girlfriend stuck through it with me and visited me almost everday but now she cant trust me, when ever things go bad between us and we are arguing she always brings that up and says how can she trust me if ive been in jail for 16 months how can i stop her from bringing that up or can i?
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female
reader, pixeydust  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 It was a fight that you went to jail for....what did does that have to do with trust? She is just trying to hurt you and bring up your past. If there is something in her past bring it up everytime she brings the situation up that happened in your past, she'll get tired of it eventually and she'll say something like "I wish you'd quit bringing that up" That's when you take your chance and tell her "when you stop bringing up the fight that I had and going to jail, then I'll stop bringing it up".
A
female
reader, sexcbex  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 I dont think you will ever be able to stop her bringing it up but i cant see why she cant trust you people make mistakes and by the sound of it you have learned from yours. Try to find out why she doesnt trust you. You did your time and want to forget about it so tell her this and anything else you feel the need to tell her she needs to understand how she is making you feel !! hope this helped.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (14 March 2008):
 Tell her to stop bringing it up. If she wasn't there when the fight happened, she didn't see what happened.
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (14 March 2008):
 If this woman stuck with you for 16 months and visited you almost every day do not break up with her. She has earned a lot of lee way in this. You don't see loyalty like that every day. What is it she doesn't trust. That you will hook up with another girl. If that is her problem it's not because you were in jail it's got to do with your actions since you've been out. Was the fight some sort of gang thing and you are running with the same crowd and you might get in another? How avoidable was the original fight. Were you guys just out looking for a dust up and these guys were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or did you get sucked into a situation where you had to fight.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Tell her this....That you appreciate her standing by you, supporting you emotionally during your period of incarceration and for coming to visit you while you were incarcerated, but that the time has come for you to move on.
You cannot change what has occurred in the past, but you CAN and should change your current situation. If this is brought up each and everytime you have an arguement, then this woman is not right for you. Trust is very very important in a relationship, but this relationship is bound for doom if she cannot let go. You need better support both mentally and emotionally. Good luck to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Trying to figure out what a woman thinks is impossible, most of the time, I don't think they even know what they want themselves.
Maybe the best thing you can do is break up with her and move on, going back to school and improving and expanding your life for the better.
You should review the cause of having to go to jail, understand the right and wrongs of it, and if you need help to improve on that part of your life to prevent the episode from happening again, then seek professional help.
None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. Like an addiction, understanding that you have or have not a problem is the first step in reversing the behavior or addiction.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 March 2008):
 It's pretty shoddy of her to keep bringing this up, you did your time and I'm sure it was wasn't pleasant. You can't really stop her from bringing it up, have you told her that it upsets you? If she truly cares for you she will stop. I'd have a nice chat with her. Good luck.
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