A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing my boyfriend for nearly six months and i am so happy, and i love him to bits! I went out with my friends a couple nights ago and i know this sounds incredibly lame and like i'm making excuses but i had a lot to drink and ended up going to another man's flat.. I genuinely do not remember anything that happened, i woke up with just my top off so i'm unsure as to what actually happened and left before i could ask the guy if anything did..I really do not want to tell my boyfriend as i know it'd probably end our relationship and/or cause a huge trust issue and it is the last thing i and he'd want to happen.. I've had a rough time over the last year and a half with family issues and i am so happy right now i really dont want to ruin it.. Should i just push it under the rug and not tell him? I know then that we'll carry on having a great relationship like we have now.. Also, i must mention that people may say 'well if you drink again it'll happen again' well i know it's going to sound lame again and like i'm making excuses but before that night i hadn't drank on a night out for about a year, purely because i'll just keep drinking and end up in situations like i've landed myself in now..This is a one off mistake that i'll learn from.. I love my boyfriend so much and if it were him in this situation now, i'd rather him to just want to forget about it and not tell me so we can carry on being happy because i love him so much.. Maybe thats me being weak but i think it'd be for the best.. Please tell me what you think.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Flashtony +, writes (2 January 2011):
If you really love him and you honestly don't believe that this will ever happen again... Then learn from it... Don't drink what you can't handle and learn to ignore advances from guys when you are out...
Now the hard bit.... This will nag at you, eat away at you etc... Whatever, you can never tell him you have to live with it.. It may remind you to never succumb again?
Or, you tell him and watch his face fall and then watch him walk, because it's hard to deal with, it's painful and he won't want to go through it again, he may not believe that nothing happened or that it's the first time.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 If you did just try and forget about it there is always the possibility that he would find out from someone else. You cannot always just avoid problems and expect them to disappear sooner or later.
If you love him, you have to trust him and trust that he will still love you after you tell him what you are going to do to ensure nothing like this ever happens again, or nothing worse. Be honest with him and tell him you were being honest because you wanted to make sure that there was still trust, tell him you wanted him to see that you love him.
After that, all that is left is to watch his reaction. He would either be hurt by this, distrustful and angered but in time he may see your honesty and your virtuous path in keeping this relationship healthy. If he chooses not to forgive you for an almost insignificant accident (assuming nothing else happened), then face facts and realize that he probably was not the man for you anyway.
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
