A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a serious crisis and I have made some big mistakes.My first mistake was agreeing to a proposal from my boyfriend of 5 years even though the two of us have a very troubled history together. He has lied to me and cheated in the past so we have a lot of trust issues. I don't trust him. But I love him so I said yes even though I know it didn't feel right.That was about 6 months ago. But since then our relationship has been going downhill, more fights, more lies. I recently called off the engagement because I couldn't keep living like that, but we are still boyfriend-girlfriend although our relationship continues to be rocky even though we love one another.My second mistake was discussing the whole thing with an old friend. We aren't close but knew each other for a long time. I told him about the problems we'd been having (which no one knows about- everyone thinks we are the perfect couple) and he got upset which surprised me. When I asked him what was wrong he said, "I'm just pissed off that this guy is treating you this way, you're my dream girl" and confessed that he'd wanted me since we met many years ago. I was floored and flattered, especially because I always thought he was attractive too.My third mistake: we ended up sleeping together right then and there... it was fantastic sex but I told him it was a one time thing. I don't want to be in a relationship with him, it was purely sexual (from my end) though I know he would probably like more from me. I am worried that he might tell someone.I haven't told my boyfriend about it because I am afraid to. I want to be with him but it is so hard, when he's lying to me all the time... this is the first time I've ever cheated on him or been dishonest with him.What should I do?
View related questions:
fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 Truly I think you should break the engagment off. Entering into a marriage is suicide when there is lying and cheating in the past. The fact that you don't trust him says to me straight away DONT get married. Love is not going to be enough in this instance I'm afraid
|
