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female
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anonymous
writes: Hey, I recently nearly had sex but I was in so much pain when he tried to push in that I had to stop him. Is it normal for it to hurt that much? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2007): my first time really hurt. get him to prepare you next time you try by other means of penetration i.e fingering. also i advise you use a lubricant as that helps alot...and just take it slow.
good luck
xxx
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (13 July 2006):
 First-time sex varies a lot from one woman to another. Some say it hurts like hell; others say it's just mild discomfort.
The most common experience is probably somewhere in the middle, but again, it depends on a whole bunch of variables, such as how big his penis is, whether you're a very small woman in comparison, how aroused you are, whether you've ever had anything in your vagina before this, and factors like whether you feel nervous or rushed.
It's not that unusual for young women to find it's so uncomfortable that they have to stop, so you don't have to worry that you're flawed in some way.
What I'd suggest is that you not try for penetrative sex too soon. Your boyfriend may be keen, but obviously you're not ready. And if you're not, you'll find that sex is a big disappointment for you, and not sexy or fun at all.
Experiment with "outercourse", which is all the things you can do with each other that ~don't~ involve penetration. Don't let yourself be pestered or pressured into full-on sex that hurts you. That's not what a caring boyfriend does to the woman he loves!
Later on down the track, when YOU feel like it's a good idea to try again, be sure you have condoms and some lube handy, and that you're not going to be hurried, so you can take your time. When you're ready, it'll be all right, and probably more on the "uncomfortable" side of the scale, rather than the "painful" one.
But, of course, that's only for the first few minutes. It does get better, or people wouldn't keep doing it!
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