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Trapped in an unhealthy lesbian relationship

Tagged as: Breaking up, Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 January 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay so I'm eighteen and I'm bisexaul but I lean more towards girls. I've been dating my girlfriend for three years on and off, eventually we stopped hanging out with friends and litterally spent every waking momment together and the rare occassion we didn't she would cheat on me, I stayed with her though my first mistake, at the time I wasn't ready for long term but I felt bad breaking up, she would beg and i'd say okay, or vice versa.

Eventually she got pregnant and told me she was raped, so I went with her for the abortion, then everything went back to normal for us anyways. Then about a year ago she broke up with me and started seing the guy who " raped " her. I then found out she cheated on me, I was in the worst state of my life, I had to go get a breast reduction and I asked her to come, later I found out he wouldn't let her, I then made the mistake of saying I wanted to kill myself so the pain would stop, she called the cops and they took me to a ward.

When I came out we got back together for about a month, then she cheated on me again. She was sixteen and slept with a man ten times her age I was disgusted and at this point I went crazy, I wanted to litterally take my life, now I didn't think very much through and I had a knife with me, I ran into her friend and it fell I caught it and the police were called again, now I'm going to court. But once again we are back together, even though we army suppose to be talking, I'm too afraid to end it incase she calls the cops, and yet again she's cheated, and I do love her but I want it to end, were both insercure and restrict eachother from talking to people, and I try not to do that, and it's hard but the people she asks me not to talk to are some of the people I care a lot about an one girl I have a lot of feelings for, but nothing would ever happen between us, she may be bisexaul also but she doesn't have feelings for me like that and I'm happy being friends and I'm not a cheater, I just feel trapped.

I really don't know what to do, I've lost my best friend because of this, I can't talk to my new friend without feeling guilty, and I spend everynight at home, court is very soon and Id hate to break up with her right after and she always tells me if I were to break up with her shed kill herself and go crazy, everyone has walked out on her and I don't want to do that but we can't be just friends without hurting each other, I'm still in love with her but we just don't work. What should I do?

View related questions: abortion, best friend, broke up, cheated on me, got back together, lesbian, trapped

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010):

This person is toxic for you. She is also using you for whatever she feels she can get from you.

There is nothing wrong with being a healthy bisexual in a healthy relationship or ships, but only if ALL partners are ALL ok with EVERYONE in it. This is hard because of the kinds of deception and things you write about that often come up. As a bi-male, I'm married with a wife who knows I occasionally play with a boyfriend. While she knows, she doesn't want to participate, so I honor that.

Nothing healthy about your girlfriend or her man.

Get as far away from them as you can and take a break from sexual relationships for about 6 months to get your head on clear, then you will see this situation from the other side.

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