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Torn between 2 lover's, Feeling like a fool

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 May 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *oretta writes:

well,were do i start. i met my ex-boyfriend nearly 3 years ago when my little girl was 1. it took him ages for me to agree on starting a relationship with him due to his past,a slag in other words.I'd know of him for years before we happened, but never spoke.

he moved in with me an my little girl, despite the fact he had his own house.he went to work everyday,he helped around the house,he gave me money to go out while he stayed in, he even cooked 4 me after a hard days graft, looked after my daughter while i worked. sounds to good to be true don't it? there was a dark side to this guy tho,big pot smoker, mornings was murder with this man,he was so spite full at times.it wasn't long before it turned into a joke and was up and down,on an off,he would get text messages from other girls,phone calls, given granted that it was always just after we'd get bk together, I'd slept with others an told him, he lied to me time an time again an wouldn't admit it, why? he started leaving me and telling me he didn't love me anymore, then coming bk, i took it tho despite all the rumors that he'd slept with this lass an that lass.

i was no angel tho, i took everything he ever had from him, burnt his clothes, all of them.thrown bricks through his window smashed his car windscreen, silly pathetic things but didn't know how else to hurt him.

anyway i found out he had a 3sum with his best mate an sum dog, i left him for the first time ever.its been 3 months now, however i am seeing someone else now.my ex is dying with out me,i now know he loves me, he says that it made him realize wot i meant to him,i have led him on tho for his money while we've bin split.

i went away wive this other guy for 2days,i really like him, he's been so good to me an I've known him 4 a long time.however,I'm having second thoughts an thinking of getting bk with my ex,i know he is truly sorry.he would do anything 2 get me bk.

he's nearly 30 now an says he's realized alto in life through losing me, he says he would give me his life.

I'm scared of loosing my boyfriend at present to go bk to summat i already know but can't help wondering if it has made him realize how lucky he was, an without me, he can't cope. his friends say he's become withdrawn.could this be the fist time in his life he really dose love me, would it be wrong to ignore this an carry on with my new boyfriend?

i love this guy,he has looked after me an my daughter for 3 years, brought her up as his own, but has hurt me.

i cant help thinking about this as not so long ago he was my world, he never gave up from the day i kicked him out but i just felt nothing which came as a shock to both of us.he never thought I'd leave him, so he took me for granted.

he hurt me so much so i now realize i was oblivious to wot happened between us an found it easier to forget about him, i was not bothered in the slightest an started seeing someone else but after going away with him I'm starting to think I've gone to far this time, but i really do like him, just dint love him.

I'd lose friends an respect if i got bk with my ex,especially after wot I've said about him.it would be fair to say forget that looser an move on, i already av.

it would be nice to be sat with my ex in years 2 cum, married an happy knowing we've had our ups an down in the early years but pulled tho it, could we get thru this?

What if I'm giving up on someone who is my soul mate, wot would u do?

I've told my ex how i feel, now he's got his hopes up, wot if i change my mind. i don't want to hurt anyone but don't want to fall flat on my face, please help me xxxxx

View related questions: money, move on, moved in, my ex, soulmate, text

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A female reader, loretta United Kingdom +, writes (13 May 2007):

loretta is verified as being by the original poster of the question

loretta agony auntthanks 4 those who replied to my question, im now in a bigger mess then ever! i desided 2 tell my ex i wanted to try again, i sent him a message tellin him that my boyfriend was at mine an that i'd let him know when he had left if he still wanted me,however,as it was sending i realised i'd sent it 2 the wronge 1.then i heard his phone bleep, i ad to sit an watch him read it. it broke my hart, as well as his. he left my house gutted!

i got the feeling my ex was lovin it, i never set out 2 hurt any1.

he is such an understanding guy we arranged 2 meet an talk about it, i explained to him i felt like i was bein pulled in all differant directions,i am so confuesed it is makin me ill. he wanted to know were we stood in the relationship bless him, i couldn't let him go which made me realis how much this knew guy ment to me. wot did i do? gutted!

he said he understands how i must feel, an he hopes we can get thro this,so do i!

however i'd already told my ex we'd try again, so yes, i was bk 2 squar 1 again.

i went to my ex's to tell him that i was havin seccond thoughts but ended up in bed wiv him, once again, wot av i done!

i think the answer to my question is to stay wiv the 1 that makes me happy, ,

they now both demand answers an wanna know were they stand, my life was so much easyer with my ex im findin it hard to stand on my own 2 feet.

i know i can't b selfish, i gotta think ov my girl thro all this.

this is making me ill, i dont want to leave any1 as i love them both, av u ever loved to people at the same time, i can now say i do an wouldn't wish it apon any1 xxxx

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A female reader, crystlay United Kingdom +, writes (10 May 2007):

i think you need to choose, because it isnt fair on any of you. even if you don't mean to your stringing ur ex along. once you have choosen things will be alot easier. if u don' t chose your ex make sure u have totally moved on and over him before you become friends again, or it will all come rushing back and u'll be back at square one.

best of luck and i hope everything works out for you.

xxxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007):

u have to make up ur mind who u want.Thk about both guys and who u wud want to be with for the REST OF UR LIFE.this may not work out with either of course, but at least u wud be making the decision for the rite reasons & not for who u thk wud be the 'more sensible option' Be brutally honest with urself and go with ur heart.U cant mess about with peoples lives in this way.Sound like new bloke nice and u shud let him go if u dont want him 4 the rite reasons

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