A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is this girl at school that I like and I wanna make a move and try to talk to her but the thing is I'm scared and sexually confused. I'm still a virgin because I'm sexually confused. Somedays I want guys and then girls. Most on the time I want guys they are who I masterbate to the most. I like gay porn I hardly even look at porn with women but there are certain girls that catch my eye at times that I like. Like the one I like now. But I'm scared to make a move I haven't had a girlfriend since 3rd grade. And plus I'm scared because I'm sexually confused. I don't just really get aroused to girls that much but I quicky get aroused to guys. I'll even date a guy. I like her I flirt with her sometimes but I don't wanna go down that road. Reason why is because I don't wanna lead her on because I may be fully gay (but I like her and kinda wanna date her) reason 2 is that I may embarrass myself when it comes time for where we wanna have sex and I don't get sexually aroused. It'll Hurt her and waste her time with me if that happen and I'll feel bad and embarrass myself. What stops me is that I don't know what gender I like. But I mainly get aroused by guys but I wanna have relations with girls and be with them also but I'm scared of not getting aroused. Does anyone have any helpful advice for me that may help me understand myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): Well hmm what is it that u like about her? It's possible that you'd be happier being friends with her and maybe having a relationship with a male. If you really like her though u should go for it, ask her out, but make the situation clear. Like, tell her early on that you are confused about whether you are gay or bi, and u need to figure it out, but you like her. If she supports you, you know that you've found a great friend and maybe girlfriend! Don't be scared, pursue whoever you feel truly attracted to for more than one aspect. Maybe try to meet some more people who are also sexually confused. Or bi, or gay. Good luck!
A
female
reader, SMARTERthaniappear +, writes (19 June 2011):
 Well you are bisexual so keep your options open. Don't shut someone out because you are confused. Her personality might make up for her not being a guy and she might be able to turn you on anyway. Relationships aren't all about the sex! Conversate with her and become friends. Take it slowly! Then if you still find interest in her, ask her out. If she had an awesome personality but you still didn't find interest in her, than maybe you're better suited with a guy.
I HOPE I HELPED^.^
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (17 June 2011):
 Do you have to have sex with friends?
It sounds like you are bisexual with a preference for males.
If you ask her on a date, let her know EARLY on that you are bisexual. Let her make the choice if she is ok with that.
If you are nervous you would hurt her, do NOT get romantically involved and focus on the friendship.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, missyd  +, writes (17 June 2011):
maybe you don't have to fit one mold. I mean you may (actually you seem) to be attracted to both gender. It happens it's called bisexuality.
people who gets along as well with boys and girls.
The thing here is you only talk about the sexual aspect. But what do you feel? what does your heart tell you? you should listen to it.
If it tells you to date her then go. if you really "love" her there 'll be no problem when you'll decide to have sex. you won't make a doof of yourself.
If your heart tells you diferently then just be friends. Because let alone the fact that you could "be ridiculous" you will hurt her.
don't forget love and lust are 2 different things.
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