A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out (dating) for over a year now. We've become so close to each other that we tell each other everything and I just want to spend my every waking hour with him and he says he loves me as well. There have been many times where we'd kiss or uddle and then it'll gradually lead to something more - sex. Not exactly. Because we havn't had sex, I'm starting to think that he's growing more and more imaptient with me because I'm not ready to have sex. I'm 16 and he's 18. Is it because he's older and expects more?He's not had sex before (so he says - and I believe him). I love him but I just know that I am not ready for a sexual relationship but he says he is. What should I do? What if he dumps me? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, missaqua777 +, writes (15 May 2009):
 you know deep down what you should do- or shouldnt, you say he loves you too well if that's so he would want the first time to be an act of love- which apart fron reproduction is the only thing sex SHOULD be, a way to express your love for each other; someone who loves you will not ever disregard your feelings because of his own selfishness or needs- you're feeling anxious, inadequet pressured and hurting someone you love is without a doubt hurting a part of yourself it's certain that he doesn't love you, sorry regardless of how long you've known him or the fact he's your boyfriend all love has this in common.
secondly your virginity is priceless u can only lose it once and you're 16 you've got the world at your feet,including a LOT of guys who know how to make you appreciate the special person you are your soul is more special and pure 16 a virgin show some perseverance, maturity and emotional strength and always follow your heart your mind isn't ready.
i'm not saying get rid necessarily but share your feelings with as many friends and people you trust as possible so they can keep an eye-out for you i'm not patronizing you it's in human nature that we iddolise everything about the person we adore and we can sometimes be blinded regardless of age or experience. at the end of the day you have a soul a mind a body if something's telling you no it's coming from you so listen to youself and the you won't have to prepare for or suffer hurt, good luck!!! :D xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Do not let yourself be pressured by this young man. If he is, in fact, pressuring you, I suggest you let him know what's up. If he is still relentless about moving your relationship forward, you should seriously reconsider this relationship. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, morgan5885  +, writes (15 May 2009):
dont have sex! be strong. this exact situation will happen to you all through out your life and if you're giving up so soon, on the first guy that's pressured you this much then no you are not ready to have sex. all your teachers tell you "if your boyfriend loves you he'll be able to wait to have sex untill you're ready" because it's true! a lot of guys can make girls fall for them realy easily, but you cant give in when they want sex. just wait till marriage. it's totally worth it because the man thats willing to marry you deserves to be the first person you share that "moment" with. and if he's 18 and pressuring you, a virgin, for sex this much then he's probably not a virgin himself. possible but not probable
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A
female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (15 May 2009):
 If you arent comfortable yet then you stick by your guns and wait until youre ready. Guys do tend to get impatient in regard to sex but if he cares about you he wont let that ruin a great relationship. If he does let his hormones get the better of him, and winds up breaking it off with you, well then its his loss for losing a great person. Girls willing to open their legs come a dime a dozen.
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