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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I told my boyfriend I just got a new job! It will help me pay my bills and I really needed a job right now. It's in housekeeping at an upscale hotel. The first question he asked is what will I be wearing? He was concerned it would be a skimpy uniform. That if I bend over to make a bed, men will stare up my skirt.I told him it was black pants and a black top. He said "good."He also said some guys who are guests might be rude to me. That I might not like it. Some guests could get very messy. He mentioned I would clean up puke and feces and all this stuff. I would gather people in general would not be so filthy but I could understand there would be some.I was not sure if I should tell him because I was concerned he might not like it. He said he was fine with it but why was he so concerned about my uniform? I just kind of got a bad vibe from him in general. Hotels are reputable places of business, are they not?I do need the job. So, I plan to keep it. I just don't understand my boyfriend's reaction. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 June 2017):
 It sounds like the beginning off controlling behavior, if he acts like this normally then you should get out off that relationship as quick as you can.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 I can think of a few guesses right off the bat, but they are all just guesses, we really can't say anything sensible without any background. We do not know anything about him, or his personality, or his culture, or your financial position etc.
Just for the sake of conversation, a few guesses could be :
- like I said, he watched too much porn , and he thinks that hotels are dens of iniquity where your virtue will be undermined every day. Well, tbh, every now and then there's the jerk who molests the hotel staff ( do you remember the scandal with that Srauss-Kahn guy at the Sofitel in New Yorl in 2016 ?) but that's not a special feature of hotels, unluckily a worker can be sexually harassed or worse in ANY work environment.
-He is an old fashioned breadwinner. He thinks that since working only part time in a hotel you'll make not much money- then, might as well stay home and clean HIS house ( that, if you live together )
- He is protective of you and honestly thinks that this job is going to be too hard and too " dirty " for you ( it's not - even I, the Queen of Lazybones , managed to wing it ).
- He comes from a culture / country / social group which looks down on serving and cleaning jobs. That should not apply if you are in USA, which , with all its faults, has an egalitarian attitude toward work. But in other places and other societies, serving jobs are frown upon as the socially humblest. Even from within the working class itself ( factory workers
will feel superior to waitresses and maids ).
- He pays lips service to your need to be financially independent, but actually he likes you to be psychologically and economically vulnerable, therefore more dependenr from him.
We could go on, but... isn't it a futile exercise? Can't you simply ask HIM ? Why don't you ? " I can see that you are not happy with my new job- what's your issue? Which job would you like to see me doing ? "
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (23 June 2017):
 Maybe he really doesn't want you working? OR he wants to "pick" what kind of job you do.
Why not ask him what his issue is with you working at a hotel? Does HE have experience in that job field? Or is his bias from what he "thinks" could happen?
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (22 June 2017):
Your boyfriend is jealous and insecure. He told you about the puke and feces because he doesn't want you working. If you're out of the house and working you may meet someone else. He isn't worried about you he's worried about himself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2017): Hello, it is the OP.
Thanks for the answers.
Some of you have said my boyfriend is trying to turn me off the job and scare me into not taking it.
Why do you think he would try to do something like that? What bothers him about THIS job in particular? He has always agreed I should get a job part time which would help me with expenses.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 June 2017):
I would tell him that no matter what you have taken the job and you will DO the job. I have worked at two hotels, once as maid/kitchen/front house staff (when I was 16) and once as a receptionist when I was 18. I never had to clean up puke/poop, but IF there is a guest who gets drunk & sick and PUKES then YES, you might HAVE to clean that up, as a maid... THAT is your job. You will be wearing gloves.
Your BF is trying to scare you into NOT taking the job which is ridiculous.
It's a job.
And yes, some guest can/will be rude ( I have never dealt with any rude guests but were told to just contact a supervisor and not get into debates.) If anyone is being crude or whatnot - CALL your supervisor. Most bigger hotels have maid go in pairs. It all depends on the size of the hotel.
It will be OK. It will be hard work (as you are expected to BE fast and good at cleaning) but you will be trained and helped. Once you settle into a routine (like ANY other job) it will be fine.
Don't let him scare you. Go to work, do your job and maybe rethink this BF of yours... He sounds like an ass.
You are OLD enough to think for yourself, right?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (22 June 2017):
Nonsense. Your bf must have watched too much old fashioned " French maid " porn movies .
When I was young, I took a summer job cleaning rooms in a posh hotel in Park Lane ( London ). We had to wear a skirted uniform ( a sort of baby blue housecoat with the hotel logo on ) but - 1) it was below the knee length, not a miniskirt, you would have had to do a lot of bending to show more than the back of your knees ! 2) there's actually not a lot of actual bending involved in cleaning a bedroom, at least not the type of butt-up bending so popular in porn movies :) We had mops, we had vacuum cleaners ... we surely weren't scrubbing floors on all fours_ and , as for making beds, unless it's a Japanese style futon, you surely do not need to double yourself up and expose your undies !, you just sort of lean over slightly ( as I am sure you know, if nothing else, from making your own bed ! ) 3 ) most importantly, you never meet the room occupant ! You clean rooms when they are out, if you knock and they are still in, you just come back later.
I have travelled extensively and never had a maid asking to " do " my room while I still was in there .
As for having to clean nasty stuff- all I can say that in my , admittedly ,short lived hotel maid experience ( it IS hard work, luckily very soon I found something much better and I was out of there in a flash ! ) I generally found the rooms to be left cleaner and tidier than my own room ( don't scold me, I was only 20 at the time ). The clients were generally mature , well mannered either tourists or business people, and neither category is interested in living in their hotel bedrooms and messing it up more than strictly necessary, they'd rather be out and about seeing the sights or doing business.
Of course it all depends from the location and type of hotel. In some flophouse in Ibiza or Magaluf, which caters to rowdy teenagers out to party 24 /7 , I guess occasionally you could find the kind of souvenirs your bf is talking about. ( Although, as for me, or as for most people with a measure of common sense, if unluckily I got sick in my hotel room, I'd do my best to clean up BEFORE the maids arrive ). But that's not normally what happens in an average, or upscale, establishment.
All in all it sounds like your bf is using scare tactics because he is unhappy about you getting a job. I don't know why, but I am pretty sure YOU do, if you think about it, Is he afraid of you becoming more independent through your job ? He likes you being somehow dependent from him, either psychologically or financially or both ? Is he a controlling type who micromanages your life and must have the last word in any of your decisions ? Is he insecure and suspicious of ANY new environment which could put you in touch with other men, or even new female friends?...
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (22 June 2017):
 God, that bf is sick. he thinks everyone is like himself, thinking staff are there as toys, and that he wants to look up under their dress if he can. You get a set time to do a room you get a set amount of rooms to do in the day, You will have to work hard in your new job and the best of luck to you in it, but you might need to think about the bf and if he is worth keeping.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (22 June 2017):
 Why would that be his instant reaction?
I don't think I've ever seen a hotel cleaner wearing a skirt and the majority of the time the rooms are cleaned when no one is in them.
I think it will be very exceptional cases where you may find yourself cleaning up sick and fecal matter. The majority of hotel guests know how to conduct theirselves and would be likely to incur charges for those kind of stains and damages thus avoiding them.
I ageee with YCBS, your BFs reaction was very odd and I'm not sure why he's being that way with you. Good luck in your new job regardless.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (22 June 2017):
 You haven't put whereabouts in the world but I am pretty sure most hotels are not like your childish boyfriend has seen in porn films. Tell him you will be too busy working to be flirting with guests.
Yes, I am sure you will get the occasional messy dirty guest who will leave their room a complete mess. However, from travelling experience I know that most people use their hotel rooms for the purpose they were intended - sleeping and cleaning themselves up. I think you will be very unlucky to be required to clean up bodily fluids, unless it is a hotel frequented by very young groups of holiday makers.
Good luck with the new job. I hope you enjoy it. I also hope you have a closer look at your boyfriend's strange attitude towards your news and see if this carries through to other things in your life. You may want to question whether you wish to be wish someone so negative and controlling.
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