A
male
age
22-25,
*habay408
writes:My girlfriend and I going on 2 years, She is Indian I am Mexican. I just got promoted to supervisor with a pay raise but it's still not good enough for her...she has until january 2010 to make a decision to stay with me and her family will disown her because im not indian or she can choose to get an arranged marriage to a man who makes a lot more money than me. She says she loves me and wants me in my life... but i feel like im not good enough for her... im enrolling in school in august to get a degree when all of a sudden her cousin gets a new job making about 3 thousand a month ..... and how she is still attending school and isn't making anything near 3 thousand a month... okay my question is.... if she chooses to be with me.. her family wont speak to her again but i feel like i'll never be good enough for her... or i can choose to leave her so she can get arranged marriage and be with someone who can support her more than i could .... but she says she wants me in her life... im soo confused.. if i love her which i do and i want her to be happy.. i should let her go right?????
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male
reader, Neboraic  +, writes (16 May 2009):
In the whole paragraph, you never once mentioned how she feels about your job and income. You said your posiiton and salary are not good enough for her, does she think that, or are you just guessing? The good girls dont care about income, if she does then she isnt worth it. It sounds like her family care about money, but does she care. Let her to make the decision between money and love. You have no decision to make.
From what youve written, it sounds like this girl is a gold digger, but i wont believe that until you give us some evidence. She may not care, poor and happy beats rich and miserable. And you just got a new position and a raise, be proud of yourself.
It sounds like you have a problem with your income. You need to accept the fact that you dont earn 3 thousand per month, but also remember that you have something else to offer her. A girl who chooses her man by his income is auctioning herself off to the highest bidder.
Also, if you are trying to win her heart, nothing turns a girl off more than a guy who complains about his salary (and how much of a man he isnt). Girls want guys who are confident despite their salaries. You and her family need to know that money isnt eveything.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): "To Love is To Let Go"...I guess that would be the noble thing to do. But also hard as hell! As Kelja said in the previous post, Either way...she will have regrets. But this is about You! If she stays with you, will you spend your life with her always wondering if she regrets being with you? Will you always feel inferior and "not good enough?" To begin a life together under those circumstances, will be difficult by not impossible.
All my life I have chosen love over stability (or money) always with disapproval from my family. It hasn't been easy!
We all have to let go of someone we love sooner or later. Sometimes by choice, sometimes not. It's never easy.
We usually want to hold on as long as possible even though we know the end is approaching.
Whatever you decide to do...it will be difficult. Only the two of you can make that decision.
I wish you luck and strength!
Britt
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A
female
reader, dearkelja + ♥, writes (16 May 2009):
 This is a tough one. I think if she stays with you there will be regrets for her. If her family really disowns her that will put a large strain on the marriage. I am certain that if she does the arranged marriage she will have regrets as well that she missed out on love.
But this is about you. You have a right to be happy. It seems she is waivering on her decision and in this case, I would let her go. The choice is hers. But even if she decides to stay with you, I would look at the big picture. Her family will be a strain, she will have regrets, she may be unhappy and you will be unhappy.
Somewhere down the road you will meet a woman who will love you for everything you are. And you will be happy, she will be happy, you will make her family happy.
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