A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:to divorce or not to divorce??me and my wife of 4 years have talked about our marriage (we already have a 1 year son) which has been a fine marriage in every think except sex. Throughout the years of our marriage we only had sex about 15-20 times..i have a very high sex drive she always had rejected me and pushed me off and due to her rejection even in those few times that we had sex in i only was with her physiacally while spiritually i was thinking about other women and i never had or have any sexual interest in her at all and she has some physical turn offs so our sex life situation is kind of complicated. We have talked peacfully about divorce as a better choice for both of us, for me to fullfil my sexual and intimate needs and for her as well but deep inside me i still love her. She is a good mom and she has been good to my mom and family as well. I am in such a big mess and dont know what to do. Should I continue with this sexless aching depriving marriage with a woman that i am not attracted to... or should we seek a peaceful divorce???
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divorce, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondear emily
as replay to your second post
i well find a GF
not a prostitute
i have never slept with a prostitute and i dont believe i well ever do
as you know many women wouldnt mind dating a married man
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 November 2009):
Ah this is why I don't believe in Not having sex before marriage.
If she is happy for you to have a lady on the side, and you make her feel loved and wanted in all the other ways then you should be fine.
Happiness is the most important thing for all of you, and I am not above a couple having any arrangement that keeps them all so.
All I would suggest is that you think carefully about getting a "girlfriend" as it is likely you will end up either wanting to be with her instead, or hurting her when she realises you will not leave your wife.
This is why the services of a professional who can get to know you and act very lovingly but keep her feelings separate, may be the best.
Just please please make sure you find a woman who is working for herself and not being pressured to work in that industry. Human trafficking is an evil business.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the answer dear emily
well we didnt have sex untill we got married
to find out that she has a big cellulite problem all over her thighs and buttox causing a big turn off
seconldy i was still attracted to her but her continuous rejecting to me made me hate having sex with her
i just thought about our life to find i still love her and i cant live with out her...i gave her my virginty and she means allot to me
and infact we talked and she agreed for me to go and have a discreet GF
so pray for me please..
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 November 2009):
Why on earth did you get married if you aren't attracted to her????
If she thinks she would be happier as a single mum with you as a friend then yes, divorce may be a good option. Then she can find someone who wants her and finds her beautiful and can make her happy.
And you can go and have sex.
However, if she wants to stay married to you but doesn't want sex with you ever again then she may agree that you can go off and very discretely and SAFELY find some form of release.
There are lots of women who work for themselves providing a clean and safe service for men. Just don't go picking up some poor girl off the street who will give you some disease while you fund her drug habit.
Good Luck!! xx
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