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Tired of receiving mixed messages... How can I find out if he likes me or not, once and for all?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 June 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been liking this one particular guy for a while, and I could tell he liked me back. We went to prom together and a lot of people began rumors that we might've been together. That's false. And he's done everything that literally every girl dreams of having. Being a true gentleman, listening to what I had to say, just being downright nice and not faking any of it.

Now that school's over and summer's just starting, he's been working more and more and I've tried making plans with him, and he keeps saying maybe. That's when it began to drive me insane. One of my friend who is also friends with the guy I like tipped me off yesterday that he has been talking alot about me and he likes me more than a friend. But recently he talked to him and told me that he doesnt know whether or not he likes me that way. On my part, I've written him a letter that clearly stated that I wanted to spend time with him, and he never said anything in response to it. When I brought it up, he thought that I wrote that letter because I thought that he was mad at me, when I wanted him to know that he's the one for me. I've been constantly talking to him on a daily basis, and he's been giving me one worded responses via text. I even played the 'lets stop talking to him on a daily basis for a while and see if anything happens.' Of course nothing happened. I've been really really patient because I didn't want to rush it. But now he's being unfair. I can't get his attention to the fact that I need to talk to him and that I want to be able to show him that we can be better together. All of my friends tell me to get over him or give him a time limit. Some of them keep telling me that I am way too good for him. But once my friend told me that he's confused about his own feelings for me, I knew that there was something standoffish about him even before my friend told me. But that cleared it up. And I'm not backing down until I get the answer I want. I even asked him one day via text how he liked me. He told me, I like you as a friend. Ok. Awesome. But I felt that there was still something hidden, like he was hiding something from me. To this day, I've been stressing it out, and having more doubts that I should be wasting my time over this, and I've even thought about maybe stopping by his house or his work just to talk to him face to face, and i think to me that's the best idea i've had because I don't believe that this should be done via text or email or facebook even. That's just silly and completely not believeable. What should I do?

View related questions: facebook, mixed messages, text

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A female reader, cindy 15 United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2010):

cindy 15 agony auntpersonally i think you should stop chaseing this guy if he likes you the answer will come eventually.

unless you want to go on a wild goose chase

i think he knows your feeling so the rest is really up to him just be patient.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you! I appreciate the responses. I will give it a shot and stop worrying so much.

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A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (17 June 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntYou should stop chasing this guy. You should also recognize that no matter what, you may not get the answer you want. Personally, I have a deep appreciation for persistence, but there are times when you need to go heavy on the discretion and lighter on the persistence. This is one of those times.

You've made your intentions clear to him. And he's not taking the bait so to speak. Also please note: stopping by someone's place of employment for purely social reasons is usually not acceptable behavior. IF you're specifically invited to do so that's another matter entirely. But it's best to refrain from simply showing up unless it's a genuine emergency or of great importance. I say stop chasing him, he knows where you stand and presumably how to find you. Just play out some line and see if you get a nibble.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (17 June 2010):

AskEve agony auntCut the guy some slack! Give him space. If he likes you and thinks about you then he'll come to you. The more you text him looking for the answers YOU want, the more pressure you're putting on him and he's backing off big time.

Remember he used to talk about you all the time but your letter, continued texting and constantly talking to him every day and asking how he feels about you has put him off. Going to see him at his work for answers is a big no no in my opinion. He'll only see it as you stalking him. He knows you like him, the rest is up to him so go quiet on him for a while and see if he gets in touch.

~Eve~

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