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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Dear cupid,I've had a crush/been in love with this guy for three years now. He is a nice guy - confident, funny, easy to talk to (goodlooking too!) - but I don't think that us being together would work. I just want to be friends with him now. I want to stop flirting, I want to stop thinking about him all the time and just be friends (as he probably thinks we are).Any tips for getting over him. As he is my porper first crush/love....but its gone on too long now and as much as I admire him I just want to have friendly feelings for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): malibugirl put it nicely.
I'd like to add, that there are other guys out there...a loooot. Better you start getting out there and date some :)
A
female
reader, malibugirl  +, writes (15 June 2009):
In my opinion you've probably given him too much of your time. Why not concentrate on yourself or your friends a bit more. Take up a new sport, start reading a book, join a club, walk the dog.
I think you need to gain a little confidence for yourself. When you start concentrating on yourself and putting yourself first, they'll be lining down the street for you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): I'm not sure what sort of relationship you have with this guy, how often you talk, what you talk about, etc. but all i can really suggest is that you minimize that.
If you're fairly dependent on him to help you get through your problems, or you look forward to speaking with him everyday to improve your day a bit, then you have to put an end to th reliances. Slowly decreasing his role in your life will at first increase your desire for it, but eventually will begin to decrease it.
Focus on other people. Try to meet a couple new ones if possible, join a new club, form a new hobby, baically what i'm saying is come up with other things to occupy your mind so that you have more to think of than him.
I think it'll all get easier and easier, untill one day, he's jsut another friend!
~SY.
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A
female
reader, Vickett0410  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 I had the exact same problem, but i dont know if this'll help or not? But my friend always uses the saying "You can't truly get over someone 'till you find somebody new to care about". Maybe you should go out on a date with somebody else to get your mind off of him?
Also, this is my own personal way to forget about somebody in that way. I love to draw so i'll usually draw my ex/him or something that reminds me of him and burn it. It usually takes a few times for it to properly work, but it does work for me. Maybe if your musical you could write a piece about him and play it over and over until you get sick of playing the piece and therefore in a way sick of thinking about him? hope i helped :)
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A
male
reader, sparky1001 +, writes (15 June 2009):
hey
This is definitely a hard one but maybe you should distance yourself from h for awhile so that you can get over these feelings. Go out with your friends or find other things to do so that you can be distracted from your thoughts about him. It's very hard at first but after a month or two you should be able to focus on other things and who knows? Maybe you will want to see someone else. First crushes are a pain but with a little time and willpower I'm sure you will get through it
Take care
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