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Time to move on and forget about her?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2010)
A male Australia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So a friend of mine (lets call her "Amy") and I started talking to each other 8 months ago (April), after being only distant friends for a over 4 years. We were really flirty, and really enjoyed talking to each other and going on walks together. Around 7 months ago (May), I apparently said something I shouldn't have and she stopped talking to me and blocked me on Facebook, MSN and stop replying to my text messages. I decided that I should just move on.

So I went on with life normally, and had a few flirts. One of those flirts and I fell through in September, and "Amy" started talking to me again, randomly. We soon discovered that we actually had feelings for each other and we decided that we would "date" (we didn't want to ruin our friendship so we didn't actually date and because she didn't want to have a boyfriend until she was older). Just before my birthday, she started to ignore me, and we didn't talk. I didn't know why she did this, and I told her that I am over "it" and that I was moving on. But one of her friends, "Lily" started to talk to me and told me that"Amy" and I should get over whatever it was and just sort it out, so we did.

This lasted around another two weeks, before "Amy" started ignoring me again. We have not talked talked since then. However, she has just gotten into a relationship and is actually dating the other person even though she said she didn't want to get into a relationship for another 3 or 4 years.

SInce "Lily" told "Amy" and I to sort it out, "Lily" and I have been talking, and stuff, but not flirting because "Lily" is dating someone else.

My question is; is "Amy" trying to prove a point, or should I just move on and forget about her?

View related questions: facebook, flirt, move on, msn, text

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A female reader, punkgirl14 United States +, writes (23 December 2010):

punkgirl14 agony auntforget about her .. obviously she doesnt care enough to like u .. if she just ignores u.. then u dont wanna get hurt again.. you need to go on with your life.. sorry but i hope this helps!:) ( im 14 and i know why some ppl do thiss.. u DO need to forget or she will hurt u emotionaly again..)

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A female reader, dersita Ireland +, writes (23 December 2010):

dersita agony auntDamn! Amy doesnt know what she wants! She's so confused! She needs to sort herself out.

But I have a feeling that she's probably deeply in love with the other guy than she was with you. So that made her date the other guy.

One day she'll talk to you again because of her happiness with the other guy. Or because of the break up with the other guy (hopefully!).

But dont try to think that she's trying to make you jealous because she isnt! She just likes the other dude better.

She's a nice girl but dont get your hopes up thats she's the BEST!

*SMILE*

Xxo

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010):

I think Amy sounds rather confused about what she wants. It is strange how she would just randomly stop talking to you instead of discussing what was wrong. It seems to be a pattern with her, and since she has done this several times it seems likely that it is her way of dealing with things. I'm not sure why she does it. Maybe she gets annoyed by things and prefers to walk away instead of discussing them. Or maybe she loses interest after a while, and instead of telling you she cuts you off. I'm not sure really.

If she is dating someone now, then I think you should just try and move on. She may perform the same patterns in this relationship that she did when she was with you. Or maybe not. But try not to focus on her new relationship now. Just focus on moving on. It sounds like a relationship with her will be rather unstable anyway, and it is not fair on you when she just stops talking to you.

However, if at some point in the future you DO start to date her again, I think you really need to talk to her about why she just stops talking to you, and see if you can compromise a better alternative, like talking about whatever the problem is. If things don't change though, then I think you would be better off moving on.

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