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Though I am married, is it wrong to have this kind of non-sexual friendship relationship with this other man?

Tagged as: Family, Friends, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 May 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2015)
A female India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i am married and have a son aged 10 yrs.

My husband and I were best friends in college and eventually discovered love. since we belonged to the same community parents too didnt oppose. but post marriage my mother in law who is a widow and my sister in law gave a lot of trouble by interfering in our married life.

my hubby though he loved me has no voice against them and lets them have their way and always expects me to sacrifice.

i have always felt bad about this as at my maternal home i have had a easy life and doting parents.

hubby also had a extramarital affair in between and i was completely shattered when i discovered this. but couldn't divorce for the sake of my child.

his business didnt go off well and very smartly the girl seeing his financial condition dumped him for another.

we had stopped having any physical relation during their affair.

last one year approx he slowly started initiating intimacy and showing interest in me like before. but in this phase that went by i was feeling a vacuum emotionally.

i chanced to meet up an old friend of mine we stay away but meet once in three to four months. i feel good when i meet this person. we both had a crush in college but couldn't express it.

we moved on in our lives with diff people.

but we have not really been able to forget each other.

we don't intend marrying nor having an extramarital affair.

but we both want to be in touch and feel attracted.

is it wrong to have this kind of relationship? we feel physically attracted too. but i have not let any such thing happen as am still unable to understand if its right or wrong. please help and advise.

View related questions: affair, best friend, crush, divorce, sister in law

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A female reader, LiveAnnLearn Serbia +, writes (6 May 2015):

LiveAnnLearn agony auntI think you've been through a lot in your marriage, and it's definitely not "wrong" as it would be if things weren't as complicated. It seems like you resent your husband for all those things you mentioned, and don't really love him anymore, or if you do it's buried somewhere beneath the negative emotions you still have for him.

I can perfectly understand your need to stay in touch with the other man, and I don't think your relationship with him is anything more than a product of the bad things happening with your husband over the years. Considering everything you wrote I'd say when it comes to your behavior now nothing is wrong and everything goes. The real question, as it seems to me, is are you really ok staying in a marriage like that?

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