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This married woman thinks she is a beauty queen!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 June 2014) 12 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2014)
A female Mauritius age 41-50, *ibob writes:

I would like to have your opinions on this woman. She is married but because she is unhappy in her couple, she feels she can cheat her husband. Well, she thinks that she is a beauty queen even though she is not. She says that she can have any man she wants and all men are at her feet. She even made me hear that she does not need to wear revealing clothes because she has all men at her feet. Does she have an inferiority complex or superiority complex? How can a married woman talk like this? How can a woman who has her body type think tht they are so appealing that any man can fall for them?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2014):

No offense, I think you're jealous and envy this woman of having confident and loving herself so much that she can always say, she can get any men she wants no matter how she does it. It's not about the beauty queen that makes the guys interested, it's about personalities, confident, and communications. If you have the looks but don't have personality your ugly inside n out. I'm sure this woman has a large self esteem and very knowledgeable on how to get any man she wants. I applaud her for what she is and what she do and that's her business. You too can do that if you have what it takes.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (29 June 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt But that's exactly it, tibob : every woman is beautiful in her own way. This woman may have a certain " something ", without being a classic beauty in your eyes, or in the world's eye in general, that makes her sexually appealing to most men. In her own way, she may have something that draws men to her . Experience may have confirmed her that , and she may be ( a bit inelegantly, I agree with you ) boasting about it.

To be fair, she did not exacty say that she can make any man fall in love with her, or love her from their heart , or want to marry her. She said that she can " have " any man she wants, I suppose in a sexual sense, in the sense of convincing them to be intimate with her . As if this were such a difficult enterprise :) ! . It's not difficult to " have " any man you want in that sense - you just need to make your intention known, or to be direct and ASK ,if they don't get the hint. If you are healthy, just semi- decent looking , drama free , and hit on free-agent single men , your percentage of rejection is really minimal . What's difficult is not to " get " a man , what's difficult is to keep him :) - not to convince them to try you, but to convince them to STAY .

In this she may be sincere, you do not need to be a classic beauty to score a lot, in lack of a better verb. Or, she may be a totally delusional crazy hag, but, if she is happy... let her be happy and let her boast her happiness , why that should bother you. It has got nothing to do with you , you'll have your loves and your suitors and your boyfriends regardless of what she says.

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A female reader, tibob Mauritius +, writes (29 June 2014):

tibob is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tibob agony auntWell she did say bad comments when i was around. She said that many women are proud that they have big breasts but she finds hanging breasts ugly. I have rather big breasts. I am sure she wanted to pinpoint me. I just find it irrational that a woman will take her as the most appealing female. Its just unrealistic to think so. . Every woman is beautiful in her own way.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI have to say this and please don't take offense...

BUT so what? A woman who isn't a "perfect 10" thinks she is HOT STUFF!? LET her!

Sounds like you two work together, so in reality all you have to do is be professional, courteous and polite to her at work. You don't have to socialize with her and you certainly don't have to agree with her.

But ANY woman have that kind of self confidence shouldn't be looked down upon, in my book. So many magazines, movies and advertisements "tells" women we should all be a size zero or we are fat if we are bigger then a size 10.. THIS woman says SCREW that! I love ME! I think I'm hot stuff!!

She might be 100% delusional, you might even feel she is encroaching on "your" male co-workers or "your" attention, but in reality she is just FULL of herself.

If she talked smack about you (like Oh, I'm glad I'm not short like " tibob " or have hair like " tibob ") then I would put her in her place, but from what you write she doesn't put you down, she just have a big ego.

Live, and let live.

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A female reader, tibob Mauritius +, writes (28 June 2014):

tibob is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tibob agony auntThanks for your answers. I get a lot of male attention but it is true that the way she boasts about herself do make me feel insecure. I am very friendly with a male colleague. I am not interested in him but he is. This lady started to befriend him. He told her clearly that he has a crush on me but she replied that she is aware how attractive she is and can have anyone she desires. Shameless woman.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntWhat you mean is that she makes you feel insecure because she is boasting how much men fall at her feet and you don't feel you have the same level of attention.

You are annoyed and hurt by her comments, because, in a sense she is saying she is more attractive than you.

Take no notice, im sure nobody else does.

Mark

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A female reader, tibob Mauritius +, writes (27 June 2014):

tibob is verified as being by the original poster of the question

tibob agony auntI just wanted to understand her behaviour. She has annoyed me with her comments when i am around. And i really find that only a sick person can believe that she can make any man fall for her. We all have our preferences, our tastes and no one can pretend that she pleases all. Thats narcissic behaviour

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntWhy does it matter to you what she thinks?

Some people love to toot their own horn, but there is a big difference from what she "thinks" men will do to the reality of what men will do.

I would just let her have her fantasy and ignore it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 June 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIn all honesty what matters and what will make men want her is her attitude.

if she thinks that she can have any many she wants she probably can because confidence is sexy.

what about this woman pushes your buttons so badly that you have to ask this question?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (27 June 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntI can't help but ask: What difference does this woman.... her appearance... her bahaviour... have to do with you?

Have a nice day...

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntYou don't say what type of body she has, but im guessing you mean larger? Any body type is appealing to someone. Some men love larger ladies, some love women with a more manly frame, others prefer a slimmer lady. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having body confidence no matter what your age, body type or figure. In fact personality and being comfortable within ones own skin can be more attractive than a hot, slender young body.

Anyway, she is insecure. People who go around telling anybody who will listen how stunningly attractive they are always feel the opposite deep down. If she was confident of her looks and secure with her figure she wouldn't feel the need to try to convince herself and others, nor would she care much about what other women think. The fact she makes you listen to how much men find her attractive is a clear sign she is desperate to convince.

Marriage doesn't make a bad person good, or a liar honest nor does marriage always mean happiness and trust. Obviously we don't know what's gone on inside her marriage but clearly something is not right else she wouldn't cheat. It may be that her husband has stopped making love to her, or only goes through the motions, it could be that they argue or he treats her badly or calls her nasty names, or she could just be a bitch who wants to have her cake and eat it, who knows. But some of those issues could make her feel unloved, unsexy, unattractive and so she seeks gratification and, more importantly, approval from other men and jealousy form other women.

Mark

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2014):

Because en usualy don't discriminate that much when they want sex.many ody type will do.

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