A
female
age
30-35,
*aymer2
writes:here's this guy a married man 47 yrs old, he's my friend and most of his family members were my friend also.last year i realized i really like him (crush). but i kept it inside me. he's so nice to me and whenever we see each other he always finds his ways to talk/chat with me.there was a time that he keeps on asking who my crush is, but im not telling it to him. but he keeps on asking and asking and i told him it was him. he told me its okay with him he respects my feelings, and then he asked me if i want to hug him. i just smiled, and then he hugged me. after that were just normal.yesterday i went to their house to give him something, without knowing that it's just the 2 of us there. i told him that i need to go home but he touched my hand and he wrapped my arms around his waist. and he kissed me on my lips, he also told me "lets be casual". what does he mean by that? thanks hope you guys can answer me.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 June 2014):
 Ewww, this is a simple case of.... DIRTY OLD man.
He has found a young impressionable girl who is naive enough to think all this attention means she is SUPER special and that he cares. Like Mark said, he is trying to GROOM you.
The dude wants to use YOU and your body. But he doesn't WANT YOU. Just to use you. So you can stroke his ego and his fire.
Honey, you know this isn't right. And you NEED to tell him to stop and leave you be.
HOW do you think his family is going to treat you IF it came out that you were messing around with him?
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (3 June 2014):
It means that he wants to use you for sex, and doesn't care that he will devastate his poor wife if he sleeps with you. I hope you are not considering this. Women who knowingly sleep with married men are nearly as slimy as the men themselves.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 It means he wants to have sex with you without getting involved emotionally. So basically, he wants to take advantage of you sexually.
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A
male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (3 June 2014):
Hi,
He means 'I want regular sex with you, but let's not tell anyone.'
As time goes on you will be fed the lines, 'My wife doesn't understand me.' Or, 'At the moment, my marriage is over, it is just a matter of time.' Or, 'This year will be your year, I will leave my wife and then we can be together.'
I have known this sort of talk to go on for years. He may also buy you the odd gift so you can 'wear it' for him.
I am a cynic, but please, do not get involved in this. It can destroy you and leave you in a very vulnerable emotional state. Trust me, I have seen people brought to their knees with sadness and sorrow over this. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, maisy1 +, writes (3 June 2014):
Op....!!! Isn it obvious?? Your not a child, you should be clear that this married man just wants sex with behind his wifes back and wants you to act like a compliant sex toy he can play with at will without his missus finding out!
Grow a pair and tell this guy where to go! Don't let yourself be alone with this so called friend again!
Sorry but if you cant see what he is doing then I think you are being very naïve for a woman in your mid twenties.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 June 2014):
 "Let's be casual" is guy-talk for "let's have sex, and not tell anybody - especially my wife - about it."
There are many more ways that guys use "guy-talk" to ask for sex. For example:
"You have beautiful eyes," or,
"Is this seat taken?" or,
"How can you tell the fresh mangoes from those that are overripe?" or, or, or,.....
I'm sure you can see the pattern, no?
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (3 June 2014):
 If this needs explaining at your age then I think you need to wake up for your own good! Sorry to be blunt but come on!
He is married, he is twice your age...he is a middle aged man looking for sex with someone behind his wife's back. He is well practised at this, and probably the guy nobody would ever suspect of being a user or a cheat. AVOID HIM!
Im sorry if this sounds a bit rude OP but you describe this situation as if you are a vulnerable child being groomed by an adult...You need to get a grip on yourself, be more self aware and learn to read situations like this more quickly for your own protection.
Mark
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 June 2014):
 It means your crush is a cheat and lies to his wife. He's also done this before and has some practice at it, so he's likely been exposed to some STDs.
In other words, proceed with caution and if you do wind up more involved with him than a kiss, be prepared for heartbreak and humiliation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2014): He means he wants to have sex with you on the side while keeping his wife. You would always be second best to him.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 What he means lets have sex and don't let the emotions come in the way, also all you will be is the woman on the side. Run.....why you even allowed yourself to get caught in such a situation, he will use you and discard you and go back to his wife and kids. Honey this will only spell pain and heartache for you.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (3 June 2014):
 Oh come on...you surely cant be that naïve at 25!
It means that he wants to exploit the fact that you have a crush on him, he wants to have fun with you on the side while he has a wife back home, there will be no commitment, nothing public, no strings attached...just sneaky sex whenever he wants.
You're a kid for him and he knows how to play you. He's an immoral, disgusting, repulsive person who you should stay far, FAR away from. Make it crystal clear to him that nothing can happen, don't ever meet him alone and don't do anything that you might regret...no holding hands or kissing or anything else.
Remember, he's a married man who can and will easily get away, he's good at fooling his wife and probably everyone else, you are the one that'll get trapped and will just be reduced to a sex toy for him. You'll end up jeopardizing your future relationships, you'll wind up with a reputation of being a mistress and this is something that you can never shake off and you'll just end up feeling exploited and cheated while he'll be the cat that got the cream.
Remember, assholes like him have nothing to lose while you on the other hand, have everything to lose.
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A
female
reader, bibiella +, writes (3 June 2014):
Well in my opinion its given that he knows you got a crush on him and that u are really good and treated him well...so its taking him advantage and also warning you thats its just for fun...its not serious so if you wanted to play the game then hes in. He doesnt show respect in that part where in he wanted you and just telling you that "lets be casual" no commitment..well everybody got their opinion and in my part its not good letting that guy took advantage on you.
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A
male
reader, wise-guy +, writes (3 June 2014):
It means he wants you for sex because you're young and attractive. He does not love you, sure he lusts after you but it ends there
He seems a pretty low individual to do this if he is married - spells bad news, keep away!!
You're nothing but a booty call for him - do you really wanna be someone's sloppy bit on the side?!
Have some pride and stay away from this disastrous situation - no good whatsoever will come of it. He may be all charms and smiles now but once things get a little too complicated he'll drop you quicker than you can blink - then you'll be left feeling like a cheap, used whore in reality. He will just walk away when he's done.
Wake up, I'm sure you're not an idiot
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