A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's this guy I'm kinda-sorta friends with and I don't know if I like him anymore or not. We used to be closer a couple of years ago, and I had the most horrible, humiliating crush on him. Long story short, he gave me mixed signals for a long time, finally rejected me, and then drifted away from me in favor of mutual friends whom he liked better. I was confused and hurt as all of this was going on, and the negative emotions have never really gone away. I want to find a way to still like him and enjoy his company, but just being around him now makes me feel terrible sometimes, even after I leave, as if my emotions have been poisoned. I think the healthiest thing for me to do would be to avoid him but I can't; we go to a small college and hang out with the same people, and I even have a class with him three times a week. What can I do to protect my emotions in this situation?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 August 2013):
 nope i do not think liking him and enjoying his company is a good idea.
The BEST thing to do is live well. DO NOT worry about him at all... pretend he is a stranger...
do not care what he thinks
do not care what he says
do not care how you look when you know you will see him.
smile and be cheerful to all about you.
do not single him out but do not exclude him to the point that he knows you are avoiding him.
Just go about your business daily like he does not exist.
this too shall pass.
write it all down in a journal and put it away to read in ten years. USE names not initials.... when i go back and read my journals I am amazed I can't even remember the names of some of the folks I had massive crushes on
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2013): When you have to share classes and share friends; then you simply have to get a grip on your feelings.
You can't run hiding from every guy who rejects you. It only bothers you; because you want to force him to like you the way you want him to. You can't.
Stop "trying" to like him and just tolerate him. Control your feelings, and stop letting them control you. That's called maturity. Your ego is bruised a little.
So you just have to co-exist just like any guy you may have rejected that sees you on a daily basis. You can't like every guy who has crushed on you either.
It's now fresh in your mind; but it will fade over time.
People on DC frequently ask for suggestions on how to escape uncomfortable situations. You reclaim power by simply facing your fears.
Pretend nothing every happened and go about life as you knew it before you knew him, and all will return to normalcy.
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