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This guy won't commit to me but he doesn't like it when I'm in contact with my ex

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 September 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *ager1234 writes:

Please read my last two posts, they are all about the same guy. After all of this that I have been through with him, we still manage to continue seeing eachother on and off. I have an apartment now close to his house and he is over at least a few days a week, he is good friends with my roomate but also comes for me. Basically one day he will be here, and were together the next we are just friends. The same old same old "on and off" us. About a month or so ago he told his friend that I had changed and he didn't want to be with me. It got back to me, so I gott the hint to try and let go. When he came around, I treated him strictly as a friend. This went on for about two weeks. I started talking to another guy and he started talking to another girl, he knew and I knew. One night he was over while a few of my friends and I were getting ready to go out, (he knew I was going to see a guy) . Him and one of my friends were sitting on the couch before we left and he decided to show my friend a picture of the girl he was seeing. And of course as soon as we left she told me. I want to believe he did it bc he knew she was going to tell me...and it would get to me, bc I think it was bothering him that I was going out to see another guy. Since then, on the random, he will stay the night again, I typically offer for him to come sleep in my bed so he doesn't have to sleep on the couch. And at times he just assumes and comes to my room. There are nights where he just kisses me and puts his arm around me and falls asleep and there are nights when we have sex. Other than when he comes over we don't really talk or text except about him coming over or if one us has a question so we text eachother, we never talk all day like we used to. The other night we layed in bed arguing, and he brought up something I did one of the days that we were just being "friends". My friend and I were messing around on the computer doing this baby making generator where you put a picture of yourself and a spouse and it shows what your baby will look like. I did a baby with my ex and him. He was mad and questioning why I did a baby with my ex. Why I still talk to him etc. If he didn't care about me still I don't see why these things would still come up....yet it is his choice for us not to be together. I feel like by now he should know that I want to be with him. .no matter what he does. I always come back when he wants me again. But at the same time I feel like he doesn't trust me and I think he secretly worries that I'm going to go back to my ex bc I have so many times. When things don't work out between hiim and I ....I go back to my ex bc I'm bored. And I've admitted that to him and he doesn't like it. The past month or so I've left my ex alone...I want to prove that I'm done with him. I just don't know what he's thinking, I'm confused, nothing he does makes sense. I love him I don't want to let go....I need advice please!

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, jager1234 United States +, writes (16 September 2011):

jager1234 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

FIRST post I posted on this site; (yes they are all about the same guy). I've been on and off with a guy for a little over a year. We have never actually officially been "boyfriend, girlfriend" but we have had a relationship like we are. He doesn't see other girls I don't see other guys. We have sex whether were "talking" or not. But he confuses the hell out of me. He sends mixed signals. After about 6 months of us he told me he loved me. But then a few weeks later just started ignoring me with no explanation. A few weeks after that we ended up in the same group with some friends. And ended up talking. He tells me he's scared. He tells my friends how much he cares about me..and how everything he says to me is true but I don't believe him...he's fought my ex boyfriend that treated me bad. When were out together with friends he's very loving..always hugging me and kissing me. He can be very sweet.There are so many things that he's done that make it look like he cares then he will not talk to me out of nowhere. Hes.the type of guy who shows his feelings to no one. Acts like he doesn't care about anything and he's very stubborn and cocky...he's got a big ego. He's opened up to me lotta times when he's been drinking..and he's not always drunk..but I feel like he just can't open up without a little alcohol bc of the type of person he is. He also is the type of guy who has had a lot of girlfriends but once he's done with them he's done....urs came back to me for a year. He gets upset anytime my ex boyfriend is brought up by our friends. Basically one day were perfect and the next he could be ignoring me. He loves me then he doesn't call or answer me. And I know that the sex has nothing to do with it. I am so confused and I don't know what to think or do with all these mixed signals that are supposedly bc he is scared.

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A female reader, Lola1 Canada +, writes (15 September 2011):

Lola1 agony auntIt's a lot to ask us to hunt down your previous posts, especially given that there is no link provided, but pretend that we will...

Of all of the posts you have made, which ones pertain to this guy and which ones are about your ex?

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