A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been going out with someone now for 3 months and it is going quite well but after past relationships i do not want a serious long-term relationship yet and knew this from the moment i met my current partner. it is starting to get serious and i am thinking of finishing it for his sake as i do not feel strongly and to drag it on any longer would not be fair. have i made the right decision to end it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): Well, it really is your decision. However, if you think he is getting too serious, perhaps you should discuss it with him first to see what his expectations are. Maybe he is not as anxious to move forward quickly? Might be worth finding out, if you enjoy his company, do you think?
If your assessment is correct and he IS getting more involved with you than you feel comfortable with, then end it with him, as gently as possible. Even so, telling someone you are planning to bring things to a close, is bound to be hurt, so you'll need to be prepared for that.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, bumble +, writes (4 February 2007):
I think you are right to end this relationship. There is nothing worse than feeling trapped and this is what will happen if you carry on seeing this man. Equally, you seem very together and recognise you want to enjoy life for yourself and not get tied down. I think its really important to take time for yourself and get to know yourself - you can't do this when you are in a relationship. I have spent my life moving from one relationship to the next and had little time to really get to know myself. Because of this, I'm not clear enough about what I really want and what is best for me and have hurt many people as well as myself, with a number of failed relationships.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (4 February 2007):
 If you don't want it to be serious then I suggest you cut back on your days to see him. Let him know you feel things are moving too fast and explain to him you feel this way. If he has any respect for you then he'll agree to slow things down a bit. Usually once you sleep together, this is when it moves on to the next level and things start to get serious.
If he pressures you in any way then I would finish it rather then getting in deeper and hurting his feelings. Both of you have to be seriously committed for a relationship to work properly.
At the end of the day, you have to do what you feel is right for you!
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): Well, it really is your decision. However, if you think he is getting too serious, perhaps you should discuss it with him first to see what his expectations are. Maybe he is not as anxious to move forward quickly? Might be worth finding out, if you enjoy his company, do you think?If your assessment is correct and he IS getting more involved with you than you feel comfortable with, then end it with him, as gently as possible. Even so, telling someone you are planning to bring things to a close, is bound to be hurt, so you'll need to be prepared for that.Good luck!
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