A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I recently baby sat for a 15 year old boy while his parents went out for the night. He was mainly up in his room. I came upstairs to see if he needed anything I poked my head around his door and noticed he was on his computer looking at porn. I was shocked and didn't want him to notice me so left. But I thought as I was leaving I saw my coat on his bed. Later on in the evening it appeared as if by magic back in the downstairs table where I thought i had put it. I didn't think it warranted mentioning as it would have led on to me going upstairs and noticing what he was doing.After all I didn't have anything in my coat pockets that would be worth stealing. But when the parents came home at and I was getting into my car I looked down to put my seatbelt on and noticed this stuff on it. It looked like he had masturbated all down one side of it. I was going to go back and mention this to his Mom but once a again couldn't bring myself to take this step. I washed the coat fully when I got home the next day and it is fine, but did I do the right thing in not mentioning it to his parents. After all he is very young and boys will be boys i guess.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2016): all guys do stuff like that. Just leave him alone cos it is natural for boys. no big deal.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2016): If I was that boy's parent, I would want to know, so I could straighten him out. Disrespecting the baby sitter is bad enough, but next time he might do it to somebody who will file a police charge against him or have him expelled or something.
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (12 December 2016):
 I'm not going to condone what he did as at the end of the day he's defiled someone's property and that's wrong.
But you're making him out to be some sort of monster. I agree a coat is a bit far but a lot of teenage boys have masturbated over female clothes at some point, usually underwear.
Anyway, you're judging the kid for being babysat at 15 without anything really wrong with him, like it's his choice. To me that screams of a very sheltered upbringing with very untrusting and probably strict parents. Which has no doubt probably left him extremely socially awkward.
His peers are no doubt having sleepovers or parties and maybe beginning to find drink and other teen experiences and talking about it in school and plastering it all over social media whilst he's at home being babysat. What must that do to your self esteem and confidence.
I'd suggest that porn and masturbation has become his escapism which has made him feel more awkward. I think this is more likely that he has a crush on you and needed something of yours to get him off which I totally get sounds creepy.
You probably should have asked why your coat was there and I think he would have been ashamed. It's probably best you don't babysit him again but I think that could have easily been a cry for help rather than a perverted depraved attack on a coat that's going to lead him to be coming a murderer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2016): If he tossed his load onto his own coat or his own property then it would not be as big of an issue.The fact is he destroyed your personal property without your knowledge or consent and this IS wrong. He needs to be taught that he cannot go around destroying other people's belongings. That he cannot steal and do as he pleases. If he continues this behaviour, he will eventually break laws.I do think 15 year olds are going to wack off no matter what and porn will be around till the end of time. Cut it off his computer and he will find a way to watch it. Trust me. And he will wack off anyway. Boys only need to look at a woman in a mag or somebody they see in a grocery store. Just also consider his parents may not believe you and you might be opening up a whole other can of worms. Some parents do not take lightly to their children being accused of anything and would defend them at all costs. And make YOU look bad, like the guilty party. Remember this as well. It is important to consider this fact.If you are strong and can take the heat, tell them. And then never accept any other jobs again from these people. And leave it up to them on what to do with the information you have given them. They are his parents and they will make this choice.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 December 2016):
 Sorry, anon male I don't think it was harsh at all, had he been 11-12 I might have been more lenient, but 15? I have teenagers in the house (females though) and I find the thought ABSOLUTELY gross that a 15-year-old would even consider jerking OFF on her jacket. GROSS.
Unless he is mentality behind or have some SERIOUS lack social skill, HOW is it OK to JERK OFF on your babysitter jacket?
And the "boys will be boys" is the lamest excuse in the book.
Yes, a 15-year-olds do stupid stuff, probably boys more than girls - it's part of being teenagers... still JERKING OFF and wiping your DICK on someone's coat? That is not a mistake or a joke, prank or something that seems like an oops. It's GROSS. And either he did it because he lacks impulse control or out of malice (taking "revenge" because he had to stay home and have a BABY-sitter for the night) NEITHER excuse are valid or OK.
It's still F@#$$^%& gross.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2016): hi, just logged on 2c "why are you baby sitting a 15 year old". well i was told he suffers from epileptic fits and so they told me they worry about him, that was why, ok.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 December 2016):
 Anon male, I could not disagree more ! The Aunts were nit harsh, it's not like they suggested to drag the kid in juvenile court or send him to boot camp. But,unacceptable behaviours need being nipped in the bud, promptly- " boys will be boys " is the lamest excuse ever and, I suspect, the main reason why so many boys get into very adult mischief, like stealing cars, pushing dope, joining gangs, fathering ( and abandoning ) children at 16 etc. And what " his hormons had the bets of him " is supposed to mean ?..Having urges is normal, AND also controlling your urges , or acting on them in the proper time and venue, is normal , and not beyond the reach of the average teenager. If this kid does not know how yet, or does not know on his own, then it's high time that adults in his life teach him how before he becomes a socially unfit individual.
Btw, had it been me, I would have had a problem even before finding out thar he had masturbated on my coat- just simply finding my coat in his room. Whaaat? 15 years old and he does not know yet that you do not take what it is not yours without permission ? How does this boy think it's Ok to sneak away in his room someone else's belongings !, regardless of the use he intends to do with it. Conclusion, had it been me , I would have raised hell- and I would have been doing him a big favour ! Much more so than just gliding over it and pretending that everything is fine...till the next time he does something maybe worse.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (11 December 2016):
 I've re-read your post and I cringe at the "boys will be boys" excuse for anything, but especially this - it's not okay just because he's a boy.
I'd call his parents and ask if you can sit down and talk with them privately, then tell them you don't feel comfortable supervising him again because you saw he'd taken your coat to his room, you checked on him and he was watching adult videos, then your coat was put back downstairs with body fluids on it. Tell them you felt your property was violated and that's why you can't babysit for them again.
He needs to be taught why this is wrong.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2016): come come Honeypie and Chigirl dont be so harsh. fgs he is an adolescent and his hormons have taken better of him. however the babysitter should have let him know that her coat is soiled and that would have been enough to let him know that what he did didnt pass unnoticed and the parents should have been warned that the kid is seeing porn sites.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 December 2016):
Gross.
"boys will be boys" is the WORST excuse ever.
I'd call his mom and tell him. Maybe they need to consider blocking porn of his computer too? But yeah, I would not let it slide. At 15 he should know better. Maybe he did it to see how far he can go before you "do" or "say" something.
And after that? I'd NOT "babysit" this "kid" again. Ever.
I do get why parents wanted someone older at home with him, leaving a 15-year-old home alone may not be for everyone. Or he might have had friends over before you snuck out, so to ensure the STAYS home they hired a "babysitter".
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 December 2016):
 Boys will be boys is the excuse I hate the most. No, there is no such thing as "boys will be boys". Boys will be what you teach them, and right now you taught him that is is okay to disrespect his baby sitter by jerking off on her coat.
Really, lady? What, is he some master above you, would you risk not getting paid or not having roof over your house if you told him this isn't acceptable behaviour?
You need to call his parents and tell them what he did. He had your coat and you saw it, and somehow this "stuff" got all over it as by a miracle? You're not buying that, are you?
Call the parents. You did not do the right thing in this case. You should have made that boy so humiliated he'd NEVER dare do such a thing again. Boys, no matter what age, are not allowed to just take liberties with ladies, or the belongings of ladies, as if their horniness somehow excuses them. That's the exact same excuse you give a rapist, you know that? Oh, so he raped that girl in her sleep, well boys willbe boys and he was just so young.... Lets not call the police, we wouldn't want to embarrass him...
He's 15! He knows darn straight what is right and what is wrong. And if somehow he hasn't been taught to respect women yet, then the lesson is long overdue.
Ask to get the bill for the dry cleaners repaid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2016): P.S.
When sitting, put your personal belongings away; or keep them in plain sight. Kids get into things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2016): Unless he has some sort of physical or mental disability; why would a 15 year-old boy need a baby-sitter? Most sitters are that age!
How well do you know this kid? If you know him well enough, you can confront him face to face. That is, if you ever decide to take the job again. What's done is done. Don't go out of your way. Set boundaries with that young man. You were hired to keep an eye on him. You did your job. Let him know he stepped over the line touching your personal property; and what he did was very inappropriate. No need to shame him, but he deserves a talking-to. Even if it may embarrass him. Luckily you didn't freak-out, most would.
Personally, I don't think you should sit him again. He's too old, and because this whole scenario is weird.
Accept for creeping you out, no harm done.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (10 December 2016):
 You were baby-sitting a 15 year old boy? Seriously? Why?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (10 December 2016):
I think someone needs to teach him consent and to not be creepy, but that's not something you can do. I wouldn't suggest babysitting him any more, most 15 year olds should be responsible enough to stay home alone.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt +, writes (10 December 2016):
 Yeah, boys will be boys BUT, this is not one of those times. He showed total disrespect and should be challenged on it. I feel he should be shamed about this action so as to avoid his growing up into a possible problem for some other female at a later date. Perhaps a short note to the parents is in order. A big confrontation is not required but you might be helpful in keeping him from becoming a real danger to some future babysitter. He needs to learn girls are to be respected not made into something dirty due to some porn fantasy. Good Luck and I'm sorry you had to be put into this situation. not all boys are like him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2016): 15 yrs old and he needs a baby sitter? Blimey. Anyway you did the right thing by not telling his parents. If they ask you to baby sit next time decline unless they are paying you and you are doing it as a job.
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