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Things are going to far and I'm not sure what to do!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2007) 7 Answers - (Newest, 10 January 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

-x- Hello, I'm only 13 and i use to like this guy, he's 17, my mates told him, and he got the idea i really liked him, i've met up with him a few times, i mean i loved him so much at first! But there are a few bad things about him

1. hes dating one of my best mates, and i dont know how to tell her

2. everyone calls him greasy and im a real girlie girl and cant stand grease

3. hes told me that if we went out he'd expect sex.

at first it was fun meeting up kissing, hugging but now its going to far, and i really dont know what to do! i really dont like him anymore!! but he's obcessed with me and i think he might brake up with my best mate for me, and i love my mate, and she loves him so much, i wouldnt be able to live with myself, but i can't be mean to him cos he has been so nice to me and comforted me when my dad passed away! please help!

-x-

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007):

right, everyone who has answered your question is telling you not to have sex with this boy. well to be honest its not there choice. im not saying you can but i have been in your situation. wen i was 13 i lykd this boy hu was sxiteen. he was goin out wit one of my best mates, but he got real close to me. you've jus got to tell him strait that all you want from him is mates. with the boy i liked, he ended up breaking up with my best mate and tried getting with me. i said no because my friends come first but she has heart broken finking bout me n him and how he liked me. if you tel this boy u only want frineds, maybe your situation will be ok. exlpain about how you dont want your friend to get hurt and hope he will understand! take care x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007):

I think both you and your mate are better off without such a jerk as him. If things get worst, you can confront your school counsellor, principle, teacher, your mom, etc. He seems like a bad egg.

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A female reader, xBadabingbadaboomx United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2007):

xBadabingbadaboomx agony aunthe has no right in sayin that when u see him he expects sex...ur too young for a start and it could damage ur emotions if u did this not wanting to.

Tell him to get lost, if this effects ur relationship with ur friend then i wouldnt worry about it! i am 16 nearly 17 and i left school 6 - 7 months ago and i no longer go out with any of my "friends" who i hang around with at school.

I met new friends at work and they are alot better than the ones i had at school, it might seem scary at the moment but the best thing to do is tell ur friend whats going on and just let nature take its course so to speak.

If u want to talk about this in more detail then send another message in on this post and ill sort u out with my msn addy or something and we can have a chat!

Take care x

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2007):

aphexinfinite agony auntyoure only 13 hunnie sex is a massive no no..you dont owe him anything yes he helped you through youre hard time but that doesnt mean he has the right to anything..stop this relationship now..for youre sake he shouldnt be asking such things off of you and he knows better its against the law.. hope this helps xx a

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (9 January 2007):

kenny agony auntYou are only 13 years old, ok he is only 17, but that is way to old for a thirteen year old to be going out with.

He could get into alot of trouble for dating you as you are below the legal age of consent.

Leave this guy alone and stick to boys your own age.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007):

ok 1st off all, u should never do anything that you are not comfortable with, no matter how hard the circumstances, if this guy really loves you he will not make you do anything you don't want to. secondly it dosen't matter what other people think, you obviously like him, to fancy him so therefore it's what you feel that matters here not what others think

in relation to telling your best mate, talk to her, tell her the situation and show her the proof, such as text messages if u have them, talk through it with her, tell her how you feel, she should be able to talk to this guy and sort things out between them, find out why he is obsessed with you, without bringing you into this, and this could lead to an improvement in their relationship

i also think that you need to take some serious thought about what you want here. do you want to be with this guy? or do you just want him as a friend

i also feel that you are been seriously pushed into things here if this is the case then you needs to tell him to stop, talk to him, and tell him to back off. if you feel threatened talk to someone you trust and can gain more personal advice from, such as your mum, although i no this can be hard, so try a best friend or a school councillor, or someone like that

i hope this helps and you get this sorted soon.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007):

You are only 13. He is 17. He should be going out with girls his own age.

You owe him NOTHING. He told you that if you go out with him (and you are much too young to go out with him anyway) that he would expect sex. He has no right to demand this. He is manipulative.

Tell him you will not go out with him and that you don't want him to contact you. If he phones you, hang up on him. If he sends text messages or emails, delete them without replying.

Is there an adult you can talk to about this? A relative -especially an older male, such as a brother or uncle you can trust and who can put him in his place? Please do so!! If not, talk to your school counsellor, or a policeman!

Refuse to have anything further to do with him.

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