A
male
age
51-59,
*ohnnie
writes: we met at the bus stop her car wrecked,my liesence suspended. shes alot younger by 10 yrs but we began to talk nand then see each other,we're both adopted and though we're very diffrent we loved each other and began to plan life together. we'd been together about a year and she told me she was expecting...we have a lil boy now and children one each by diffrent relationships,we moved into an apt together where we've lived for the last 5 yrs. Im a recovering alcoholic and after alot of aurguements and me prying into her buisness found shes seen someone else for about 6 months...this after Id been thru everything to catch or prove before she was seeing someone else!!!!! during this time I started drinking and withdrawing from everyone.before it was out in the open everything,I was drinking from sun up till down. she texted me sayin shed be out with her friends again fri. night as shed done every weekend for almost 4 months. I decided I was goin to find out what was going on...and did!!! she ended up spending the weekend with this guy cause she was afraid to come home. shes returned that sun. and we've (Ive resolved my drinking with aa help and GOD back in my life)yet she says she cannot decide what she gonna do??? Ive confronted this guy,and didnt get anywhere. I feel like my lifes on hold now. dont get me wrong,we are like we were when we first met.loving,caring,we talk and work things out.Its been 3 weeks now and she still communicates with this OTHER guy. shes had some brief visits with him....she said she distracted by him and shes so sorry,she needs to make a decision shes been avoiding at all costs....pretending the situation doesnt exist! Im becoming less and less hopeful everyday.not sure what to do?????
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male
reader, johnnie +, writes (22 June 2010):
johnnie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionpositiveparent what came of your replies??????????????????
things here are progressing in a positive form.Theres been some helpful replies or answers so to speak...power of prayer and belief.I know GODS helping US here
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 June 2010):
I'd walk. I think it's clear she's cheating with this guy, and it is no longer up to you to prove you are worthy of her. It's her to her to come to you. You've worked on your own issues, and it's time now that you took another step and stood up for yourself. There is no excuse for her to cheat. Even if she was feeling bad, or unloved, that is not an excuse to cheat. You've been ruled by alcohol, and now you're being ruled by her cheating. Let's face it, if she loved you, she would be working on this. Take a step and live your own life. Be a great Dad to your son. Just don't stand idly by while she has her way. What a waste.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Most people dislike ultimatums because it forces a "fence sitter" to get off the proverbial fence. I tend to believe that as long as you allow the fence sitting this is all you'll have. I recommend telling her that your patience has run out and it is now time for her to choose. You've gotten yourself together and now she must do the same. Him or you.
This is fair because she's most likely "hedging her bets" in running between you and he. She's thinking only of herself in doing this, it is most unfair all involved. You can tell her that though she wants to whistle past the graveyard, you don't and won't. Get with you or him.
Otherwise, allowing this game to play out is only torturing you and probably the children involved as well. Best Wishes to you in whatever you decide to do.
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