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anonymous
writes: My "girlfriend" is getting out of a marriage that was extremely bad. Not physical, but a very self centered individual. Her divorce is in the critical stage b/c she and the to-be ex have a child. Anyway, her parents love me, and they keep saying that she needs to be with me. She is feeling pressured by them and me. I am not trying to put us together imediately, she wants to date for a while, she says she just wants to date me. I feel this is putting a huge strain on us. Should I back off completely and let her find me, or continue talking to her and risk losing her forever?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2005): Be there as a friend and show her that you care and you will do anything for her and when the time is right she will come straight to you. All the best
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reader, Infiniterealism +, writes (16 May 2005):
Give her some space, the poor girl is probably feeling so much pressure from her divorce and all the drama that goes along with it. Having your feelings to consider now is just added worry. Ever hear of reverse psychology? Seems people tend to shy away from what people want them to do to try and remain in control of their own lives. Her parents liking you and wanting you to be a part of her life will just push her more away from you. They need to back off and trust her to make her own decisions, just be there without demanding her to make any big decisions. You don't want to be her rebound lover do you? Make sure you don't have any huge expectations from her at this point. Let her come to you, just leave your door open. She needs time to settle this divorce. Its a life altering decision that has to be handled carefully. She needs to pick up the pieces of her life and find her own individuality. Its great that she has a wonderful support system with you and her parents. Trust her to decide whats best, she will appreciate that. Some woman are attracted to the 'bad boy' types. You sound like a great respectful person and with hope she can see this and learn to embrace being treated with respect from a 'good guy'. p.s the way to a woman's heart is through her children.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2005): well, i think you should just be honest to her and talk to her. If she feels the same about you she'll tell you. If not you can back of and get on with your life. Or you could lay back for abit until her divorce has come through. That way, you'll now how she truly feels.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2005): hi hun. To be honest you can date without taking things to the serious relationship level.She is just getting out of a bad relationship and has quite wisely admitted she doesn`t want to rush headfirst into another one.She simply needs to take time out for a while she isn`t saying she never wants to be in a relationship with you.It isn`t going to help her with you and her parents pressuring her constantly so just be patient with her for a while and one day she may well surprise you.Keep up the pressure and you may well lose her forever.I hope this helps a bit.Take care and good luck in whatever you choose to do.
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