A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/would-counselling-and-therapy-help-after-all-this.htmlThat is the link to the first question I asked. Now over a year later, I am now finally getting in a real relationship. Except the problem is that she is only half my age, and this kind of scares me. Like what would we be able to discuss and keep long term between us? I have told her about the previous girl and everything and of my son, and it seems alright so far, but I am scared that our generation large age gap is going to really kill this thing in the long run. Do you have advice for this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (23 October 2017):
 If she's half your age, in the long term this may be a problem.
I've been in this exact position before and unfortunately, it all ended for us.
I was young and he was almost 19 years my senior.
He adored me and wanted to marry me, have a child with me, however, my family weren't going to accept our relationship.
For me, the real issue was that although i did love him, i knew he was too old for me, on the age front.
We'd get so many stares by younger/older men/women, when walking anywhere and i'd even been passed off as his daughter numerous times in public places, so eventually, i came to realise that in 10 years, when i was a certain age, he'd be much older than me and i didn't think i could deal with that.
I know this is about you, not me, but i wanted to shed some light on my experience with a much older man, as a much younger woman at that time.
Unless your younger gf is mentally mature, eventually she'll come to see/realise that perhaps the two of you don't exactly have too much in common.
It's possible she may also go the other way and all will be fine for the two of you, however, it's more likely to come to a stall because she starts to have 2nd thoughts.
Break ups because of large age gaps, is actually very common.
Like anything, it can work for a while, sometimes even a long while, then eventually when the rose coloured glasses come off, we see things in a whole new perspective.
Perhaps you can sit down with your gf and have a real discussion about your relationship and where it may or may not be heading.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (23 October 2017):
 You can only be yourself. No-one knows how long a relationship will last. You find someone who you think is right - and who thinks you are right - and you put your trust in them.You ask what would be able to discuss? Well, what do you discuss now? What are her interests? What can you bring to the table?There may be something in her make up which needs an older man at this point in her life. Are you fit? Do you look after yourself. You can be 10 years younger than your peers simply through your fitness.Do you have wisdom; emotional maturity? All these are assets a younger man may find in short supply.All you can do is your best. Prove each day that you love her and that she is special. She might then just think she would be a fool to give all that up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2017): Please, if she is ok with the age gap, relax! Don't think about the age just enjoy time together. Conversation can dry up in any age relationship. If you like her take a chance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2017): Let's say you are 50 and the girl is 25 or the more worrying your 42 and the girl is 21 .As a female and a mother, this somehow leaves a lil taint in my mouth . The reason being is you are an experienced man and she a girl not long out her teens by any of the imagination. What would you really have in common with 21 year old .. really ? I think a 5 to 6 year gap at this age is fine . But I wouldn't sorry agree on 20 or 25 sorry .. if the female was experienced and 45 and you 65 I would say well she lived a great partly part and knows what she getting into etc and she would have I would consider more in common . But at such a young tender age I can't see it
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