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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I feel my family life is driving me crazy. I have such a dysfunction in my family,that is almost hard to believe it. My husband works all the time and my grown kids are in trouble all the time. We have no intimacy, fun or joy in our life. My councilor says, I tried everything ,there is nothing else I can do. I take care myself,and trying to help everybody, but nobody here making good choices, what is a constant cause of misery for me..My husband does not take care of himself ,or anything else,only his work.. So even I do take care of myself, I feel very depressed in this situation. Is there something ,I don;t see well? Am I wrong somewhere? Because it seems ,I might have to leave this place for my own sanity. I don't know why is it so messed up here,even after 5 years of therapy, it seems it is not me, but my family.I know it is very unfortunate. But what can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): I think, when you can't figure out why ,for a long time, than you have done everything. To stay in a situation like that will drives you mad. But if you can figure out how to stay in a totally dysfunctional family and stay normal, than you should go for it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): Take responsibility for your own joy. And ,than you will stop feeling so bad. Only you can make yourself happy!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): Go for a vacation, and try to get back to your inner child, and read codependent no more! Don't give up! Make yourself very happy,and than you will be ok.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (27 February 2010):
Kids are grown, let them get in trouble, let them fall down, pick themselves up and LEARN... Your husband needs a wake up call- let your needs be KNOWN to him and give him an ultimatum- your needs need to be met, are you roommates or in a relationship? I assume that in 5 years of therapy he's been given the chance to join you? What happened there?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 February 2010):
Look at what you've written here. You've tried to help everyone, you've spend time taking care of everyone, your husband works all the time and doesn't take care of himself. Not once do you mention just having your own life. It's like you've been consumed by taking care of everyone else that you've forgotten who you are. Even your counsellor has said you've done all you can. You've said it. It isn't you. So now you need to do some serious thinking. Either you can stay in this unhappy marriage and continue to try and rebuild it, or you can given an ultimatum to your husband and tell him that you are unhappy and that unless things change, you will have to leave. It's time to put yourself first. You've done the wifely duty, you've been a brilliant mother. Now have some fun for yourself. My girlfriend swears by dancing, so maybe that would interest you. Regain some independence and have some fun.
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