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female
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*-Kim-x
writes: HiI am 16 years old and have a part time job. About four months ago a new chef started at work. After the 2nd weekend of working together he started texting me. He says he really fancies me and he has even said he is in love with me. The only problem is he is 34 and has a a young daughter. I really like him but i think he might just want me for sex. My mum had recently found out and dissapproves.I dont know what to do, because i think i really want to be with him but no1 approves so it feels wrong!!!Help please is 18 years too much of an age gap??xxxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I'm 19 and dating my ex boyfriends 36 year old stepdad. I totally understand the feeling of going against the norm. I guess all i can say is when people look at the two of you whats more important to you- the way you two feel about eachother or the way other people feel about seein the two of you together?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007): hey, its fine, dont worry about the age gap its only numbers, your the legal age right, follow your heart and not what everyone else says, its not wrong at all
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): i am seeing a man who is 9 years older than me and i am 17. we both say we love eachother and yes it is completly against the norm but i think as long as you happy it does not matter.
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A
female
reader, Anika +, writes (17 January 2006):
 You must handle this situation with caution, yes - but the age gap does not make it inherently wrong. There are many things you need to think about here.
1) Are you willing to go against the societal norm if you do end up falling in love with him?
2) Would you be willing to date a man with a daughter? Even some adults are not ready to be even kind of like a step parent, so you need to figure out whether or not you'd be comfortable in such a situation.
3) What feeling do you get from him? Does he seem interested in your thoughts, or is he mostly interested in you because he thinks you're cute? If he's saying he's in love with you so soon, that seems to be a red flag that he's calling his infatuation love by accident OR he's trying to manipulate you. Many men do have the idea that younger girls are easier to manipulate. While this man may not think that, you do need to keep in mind that it's a possibility.
4) After you have considered everything else, if you still want a relationship with this man, you need to find out what is and what is not legal. If you live in an area where the age of sexual consent is higher than sixteen and you end up sleeping with him, he could go to jail.
My personal opinion is that age difference is not wrong or right - it just is - but it does cause certain issues to come up just as being a different culture or religion from a partner would cause issues to come up, and those issues need to be addressed before you proceed. If you are asking what others you do not know think of this relationship, then it is likely that you aren’t really sure where you stand as far as age differences go. You need to think about whether or not you believe age differences are wrong in general before you decide what to do for your own situation.
To sum up my advice for this specific situation? Proceed with caution. Tell him to slow things down. Talk with him for a while more. Get to know him a bit better. Take a month or two to figure out how you feel about the situation and how you feel about age differences in general.
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female
reader, satansmate666 +, writes (15 January 2006):
10years is my limit, problem is men never grow up truly, u r just reminding him of the girls he was with at ur age! U wont b able to get anything serious, think long term, do u want kids? Will he want kids when ur ready? U can still study and find better jobs, can he support u financially as ur parents can for u to do this? unfortunately the answer is no.
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A
female
reader, SherreeBee +, writes (15 January 2006):
 First off, I'm 17 and have been in relationships with older guys. I recognize that yes, I am a lot more mature than most 17 year olds which is why I can never get serious with someone my age. Since dating these older guys,I have learned more than I could've in my adult years;
That yes, most will think it is easier to have sex with you because you're younger and are easier to manipulate. Another huge life lesson I have just began to realize, is that the way a man persues you, says a lot about his intentions. When a man becomes infatuated by the way you look, you can kind of tell what's going on.
This older chef guy could be really nice.. But something doesn't soud right if he has a daughter that's around your age. Right away you should get a sense of what he's probably thinking about you..
Make the right decision yourself, because ultimately, no matter what everyone says, you're going to do what you want. So be smart about it and really pay attention to what's going on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2006): this guy's a pedophile
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (15 January 2006):
he wants your beautiful body and as for being in love with you, tell him you need to spend 24/7 as a couple over many months before that emotion grows. What he feels right now is burning lust and desire and the need to get his wicked way with you.
keep him at arm's length and enjoy flirting but dont take it further as this man is not about to make you the happiest girl on earth.
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