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The tables have turned.

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 November 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 November 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have written before about some problems I have been having, I just wish I could get my head and heart to agree!! One aunt said that I am grasping at straws to save my relationship, and deep down I know I am as I dont want to let go, and it is really hard. I really thought I had found the one.

He was my first serious gay realtionship and from what I have heard the guys that are in this lifestyle dont want long term relationships they want flings.. and I am the opposite. I want long term and with my current bf, I thought I had it, and I was coming out slowly to people because I felt safe.

we are going thru a really bad phase and like I had said in previous posts I found a picture of another guy on his phone and he said that he was on a dating site but that his profile was blocked, and it was for making friends, but we all know that a gay guy looking for friendships the other person might have other motives and there will be obvious flirting and feelings going on even though it was intended just for looking for friends or penpals.

I found the site and I found his profile, and he is on it almost every second day!

Since I approached him about the picture, he feels that I dont trust him..then the cards turned and now he thinks I am up to something.

I feel uncomfortable with knowing my bf is on a dating site and looking to make friends or chatting with people online, and I know for a fact if it was the other way around and if it was me online veryday chatting with other gay men he would have gone mad!!

Am I being unreasonable or is it something that should not be tolerated?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010):

It's not something that you should tolerate. Seriously. This might seem a bit petty but I can be petty when other people are (he is being petty) I'd turn around and say to him that you've changed your mind about the website and are going to try it out for yourself. See how he feels, if it's a good way to make friends then why not? It's always nice to meet new people, maybe you should do the same. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

If he complains then tough, he can't have it all his way. If he doesn't mind doing it against your wishes then he can have no complaints if you do it against his. You need to stand up for yourself, you need to assert yourself in this because at the moment he's walking all over you. Don't stand for it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010):

~HE'S LYING TO YOU~ Don't tolerate it. Leave him, and do you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010):

well, i think you should just keep trying ive been having problems wiv my bf but dont worry there is someone out there for everyone

your 1 broken heart away from happilly ever after

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