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The sex is next to nothing, I'm pregnant, I don't feel desired and I'm extremely frustrated with my B/f

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Sex, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 March 2011)
A female Ireland age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Its not working with the bf. I am 11 wks pregnant. This was a complete accident. He is now living with me but its hell. There is no sex, we sleep in separate rooms and when there is sex its not that great. He can't stay hard or at most he will only be half hard during sex which is making me so so upset. I finally told him about it cos it bothered me so much and asked him if he had a prob there..he said no but that it simply has a mind of its own. Now the sex has stopped altogether simply cos we are not getting on with each other at all.

There is no trust by either of us and I feel he is only doing the bare min with me. There is no trust cos there is no bedroom activity. When I threw him out of my flat he never makes up with me when he returns. This has happened a few times for different reasons. I told him I have never had to ask a bf for sex...and I felt annoyed he was putting me in this position...he flirts with other girls in front of me and when I finally cracked and got angry at him he denied it. I told him to get his crap and go back to the US cos its not working out - he makes me SO lonely in this pregnancy.

He told me last night he loves me cos I am having his baby and not because he loves me. I don't feel desired or wanted from him at all...last night we had fight...I said my last ex was in touch with me (an ex I never want to get back with) in my frustration I happened to tell the bf when I was with him we had sex morn evening night and it was great and he had no probs with erection..you barely do it once and as far as I am concerned once a month is not enough for me..he said if my ex is so great why don't you go back and f*** your ex! so I kicked him out of my flat for having the nerve to say that. I was trying to say to him why don't we try to get it on and see if that helps your prob.

He doesn't understand at all how it is to be pregnant either as he has never really gotten a woman pregnant and the one woman he did get pregnant in the past ended up miscarrying it. She was going to abort cos I reckon he must have annoyed her too. She didn't abort but ended up miscarrying.

I would like this relationship to recover but I am a complete loss as to how it can now that all these unkind words have been said by both of us. Please whatever advice you can give me would be great cos he is really really upsetting me all the time and I know its not good for the baby...I hate the fact he doesn't make me feel even special just sometimes. I told him so. Its got boring. Stuck at home - never really go out as I have a young infant already who is nearly 1. I said you can't expect me to be happy with you if that is not there. He is constantly attacking and insulting me and then I end up annoyed and doing a little but not so much back. I told him am not into mudslinging and this has got to stop as its not the type of role model I want for my daughter :(

View related questions: be pregnant, erection, flirt, my ex

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A female reader, cupidus Canada +, writes (22 March 2011):

cupidus agony auntHe's terrified, he's going to be a father for the 1st time and now you tell him sex with the ex was better, which he took as EXCELLENT, the BEST, you'll never meet the mark!!

I'd be treating you like crap too.

On the daddy end of it, he may be thinking some silly thoughts about harming the baby during intercourse.

But this guy is TERRIFIED out of his mind.

You need to start with small "baby steps" if you want him in the picture. He sees his whole life flashing in front of his eyes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011):

the best solution is that you should have looked before you leap but notwithstanding, you should accept your fate and leave him alone and train your baby o.k

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