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The relationship is dead --- why doesn't he let me go?

Tagged as: Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 December 2014) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 December 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *ountrygrl writes:

My relationship has been dead for the past year been with him for 2 years now ,problems began early on in our relationship due to his insecurities and I had some family problems so that pushed me away because he started drinking on a few occasions he said he wouldn't do it no more but he did plus he's really bad with money so it put me off of him the money problems just continue anyway I have wanted to end it for over 6 months now but i just can't I'm 42 and fed up with failed relationships so I just carry on with it but deep down I want to end I had a chat with him about it all how I feel about it all ,I might be moving out of the area where I'm living and told him we won't see much of each other because I have a daughter who doesn't live with me so I want to move closer to her he understands all of this he told me to do what you have too do ,his going no where and doesnt want to meet anyone else ,I don't want a future with this man i told him I just want to be with my daughter and focus on her don't have time for a relationship ,so why is he hanging on there's no love or affection in this relationship I hardly see him ,what do you make of this I don't know how to handle this situation anymore

Regards countrygrl

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (19 December 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntWhat answer are you looking for? What do you want to hear?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (19 December 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntbecause while you are around you are easy to be with and he is willing to waste time with you.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (18 December 2014):

Ciar agony auntI agree...what exactly are you expecting him to do?

Are you renting? What's stopping you from turning in your notice if your name is on the lease, finding another place, then packing up your things and moving into it?

Is he supposed to do all that for you?

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A female reader, Countrygrl United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2014):

Countrygrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok so why does he still want to see and want to spend time with him on he's days off thanks

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 December 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthow is he hanging on?

what do you expect him to do pack for you, move for you?

you told him you want to move, you want to move Make it so.

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A female reader, Countrygrl United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2014):

Countrygrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank for your advice it has helped me yes why do us woman do these things I guess we don't like to hurt people and as we older cant be bothered with all the grief maybe that's me anyway and thanks again for your opinion on my situation

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (18 December 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntDoesn't seem to me that he's hanging on. He pretty much told you to do whatever you want, apparently he could care less. Feel free to go and improve your life.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 December 2014):

Honeypie agony auntSo stop waiting for HIM to make this choice, it YOUR LIFE too. Find a place near your daughter and move.

GET your ducks in a row, pack up whatever he has at your house and pack whatever YOU have at his. FIND a place where you WANT to live and MAKE that move.

For him it might BE the familiarity that makes him hang on, make he thinks THIS is how a relationship is.

But since YOU already know you don't want this, WHY don't you WOMAN up and end it?

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