A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi this one is mainly for the women out there. Do you tend to get alot of unwanted attention but never any wanted attention? Will my luck change? I can't figure it out I'm fairly good looking from what people say. The people who find me attractive are always people I'm not interested in, this common for alot of people? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (28 June 2014):
 Yes, this is a common problem. Attraction is not mutual more often than it is.
Do you get nervous around guys you like? Do you avoid eye contact because you're worried what they will think? You said you are quiet. You could be sending out signals you are not interested without realizing it. They might be misconstruing you not having much to say around them or looking away as lack of interest.
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (28 June 2014):
 You are probably giving out the wrong signals. Sending out the green light to men you don't like, and a red light to men you do!
If you are quiet and shy then some men, probably the once you like, could be taking that as coldness and a lack of interest in them. Mean while the cocky, arrogant guys see it as a challenge! Some women look a bit timid or quiet and again its generally the cocky blokes who try it on knowing the woman wont tell him where to shove his approach, while the nice guys are too put off thinking the quiet personal is a form of barrier.
Mark
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2014): Nothing sageoldguy although i look quiet so perhaps they think I'm too nice to turn them down.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 June 2014):
 Here's a guy's point of view.... in a question:
Where are you going, such that you are getting UNWANTED attention?... and not WANTED attention????? Perhaps the answer to that question will help guide you to an "answer."
Have a nice day.....
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2014): Yeah, OP, it's very common.
Unwanted attention is a guy you're not interested in and wanted is a guy you're interested in. There's one simple solution to that we guys discovered a long time ago, if you want something get it yourself. Do you need us to open jars for you too? Can you get into a car without a needing a man to come along and open it for you? Then you don't need a man to do all the work in terms of attention.
We get wanted and unwanted attention too, OP, everyone does, but you'll rarely hear us discuss it in those terms because it doesn't matter because we've figured out if we're attracted to a person the best way to get them is give them attention.
There's no point in complaining about something which is easily gotten by doing it yourself. Some of my long term exs were the ones who pursued me initially in terms of the initial contact and showing interest. Such a simple little thing yet so many women would rather sit there feeling sad and lonely that only undesirable men seem to show interest. That then creates a cycle because sad, lonely women sitting there that are not exactly the most appealing. So the most appealing of men, usually guys with other options, are not going to choose her over someone who is not sad and lonely.
OP just make yourself an option for the kind of guy you want attention from. It's not that hard is it? Just start a conversation, boom! you have our attention. It's as easy as that. We love attention from an attractive woman as much you do, you make the move.
...............................
|
