A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is this girl who often flirted with me which I have recently grown to like. We corresponded on several occasions, but have never dated. Our conversations were always light and funny. We always complimented one another. Naturally, she is outgoing, but when she is around me she appears very shy and nervous. Unfortunately, our world came to an end when we had to depart for occupational reasons. I recently wrote her a cordial good-bye letter and a poem expressing my affections for her, but since then she has not responded to them. Is there a reason for her silence?
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female
reader, Annpatrice  +, writes (12 September 2012):
Probably waiting for u to call her first jst to make sure u also miss her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008): It's up to the guy to pursuit the women if he really likes her. Try to catch her in some way where its just you and her alone. It may be that she never got the letter or that someone could have told her you were not interested or were dating someone else when you were not. I have had this happen before with someone when I was in college and because I was unsure where I stood,I quieted up and sort of dissapeared from his life. My friend who was jelous said that he had lots of girlfriends when the two of us were crushing each other intensely. It's very painful to hang on when you are not sure where you stand. As a women, when I am silent, it means that I am not sure of something.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): The meaning of a woman's silence... Great question, great phrase. In my experiences, you have to slightly be a mind reader when you first like a girl. I think the best way to go about doing this is to put yourself in the same situation and think about how you would respond. I have written my fair share of cheesy poems (not that I'm saying your poem was cheesy!) and letters. So, the question is how would you respond considering the circumstances?
Maybe I'm a horrible person, but when a girl really comes on to me or honestly tells me she likes me, it is a big turnoff. There is no chase, no excitement. It doesn't turn me on at all. I think that is totally screwed up by the way an I hate that I'm that way. But, I think it's the same for girls. When a guy just lays down in front of her, it's boring.
Unfortunately, you had no choice and you couldn't hold the attraction long enough for the moment. I've been in situations where I had no choice but to be honest and tell the girl and I don't think it has ever worked. The result has usually been unrequited love.
So, it works both ways. I'm sorry for your situation, i'm in the same one myself. Now, I don't know if the chase thing is the case, just a thought.
I think one thing you need to realize is this is a situation you have no control over. That is really hard, particularly for a guy. You have no information on what she's thinking, whether about her exboyfriend or what.
I'll leave you with a couple quotes:
An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that suceeds, for love is measured by its fullness, not its reception.
AND
If you continue to believe that there is a chance she will change her mind and eventually love you, you will never move on and find true happiness.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): You wrote her a goodbye letter. If someone wrote me a goodbye letter i would take it to mean goodbye.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, scythe  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 maybe shes depressed about the tragic nature of your circumstances - you said you guys can never be together.
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A
female
reader, Lovesick24 +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Maybe she doens't know how to respond. Perhaps you were the first one to write her a poem and she doesn't know what to say. lol, you may have left her speechless. Try calling her instead and reciting the same poem when she answers.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Yes, there is. Most probably she doesn't like you the way you like her. Maybe she was flirting, but didn't want to make it serious. I guess that, if she had wanted anything serious, she would have gone beyond the flirting. Or she would have told you something by now, after your letter and your poem.
I need to give you another opinion. Your world hasn't come to an end. Who says you can't continue to live? Why should you quit now?
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