A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Realistically what are my chances at overcoming my life deficits and catching up to where I need/want to be in life? some info late 20's no degree, flunked college numerous times, cannot get a job, very poor learning skills and a very defeatist nature. I failed due to hating the course and being ashamed of being seen repeating leading to more failure and shame of being a mature student. the life path to goals through education is now shut on me and I do not have entrepreneurial spirit. When I look at myself I see the embodiment of failure and incapability, so I personally cannot imagine success in life. But there are people who have more life experience than me and wanted to know from them if they have ever seen someone like me actually make something of themselves Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2018): How can we advise you what to do if you have already decided that you are good for nothing and given up any attenpt to do anything. However you have to make a soul search and find out what you like as a hobby or what you are good at and try to build on that. YOU MUST BE GOOD AT SOMETHING. Do you like animals for instance? Come back when you have done that. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2018): There is still an avenue to education through trade schools or community colleges; which offer a less strenuous academic load.
You don't give-up on education my friend, you seek educational alternatives. You are a lazy student. Anything that requires study and concentration may be a challenge due to learning disabilities; or maybe you have attention deficit disorder (ADD).
If you've never been tested, you probably don't know. However; a lack of interest in higher-education and a low level of ambition can also be symptomatic of depression. If your country has socialized medicine; all you need to do is get tested and evaluated.
People can leave their country with only the shirt on their backs, and no education; and become millionaires to billionaires.
My boyfriend didn't want to go to college; but chose to go to a trade school. He learned carpentry, masonry, and various other trades. He got jobs in construction, and became a journeyman under various master-tradesman; until he himself earned his credentials as a master-tradesman. He started his business from scratch. He inherited money from his grandfather, and he used it to build a small business.
He built fancy stonewalls, lay pavers for walks, patios, and driveways. Then started installing pools. He now owns four businesses; and has become a self-made millionaire. One of his brothers is a dentist; and the other is a corporate tax lawyer. His parents thought he'd be the only one who wouldn't succeed.
He's richer than both of them put together, and then some. His latest venture is restoring fancy fireplaces in historical homes. He did eventually attend business school and took courses. He still attends seminars and programs for entrepreneurs. He had to know how to run a business; before he could actually get one off the ground. He also learned from his former-employers.
I have an Asian friend whose parents came to America in the early 60's with just a few belongings and a few hard saved dollars. Very little education. They started a coin laundry business, then two restaurants, then a cleaners, and eventually two more restaurants. They live high on the hog and put my friend through Yale. He and his wife now run those businesses.
It all depends on you. Education don't guarantee success; but it gives you a better chance at earning higher wages than a high school graduate.
I started working for a business finance and mortgage company straight out of college. They were bought out by a large bank; then the merged and became a conglomerate. The industry I started in has grown tremendously; and I stayed with them, and climbed the corporate ladder. What's funny is, I swore I'd never be one of those stuffed-suits. I have my own managing-style; but it worked for me. I had to push and work hard as I could. The sharks wanted to eat me alive; because I am gay, but I survived it all. My sexual-orientation has nothing to do with my talents and ambitions.
Get tested to see if you have a learning-disability or suffer depression. You sound like you're giving-up. Start small, and build on that. See bigger things in your future and work towards them. Dreams do come true, my friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2018): It sounds as if you may have an issue with depression. You need to look into getting treated if that is the case, so that you can see things more clearly. You say that you cannot get a job, and that education is now closed to you. I want to assure you that those statements are not even remotely true. First, I started college in my 30's, which is an older age than you list here. I had people in my class in their 50's and 60's. It is never too late to learn or go to school if you want to. Also, anyone can get a job if they try and are consistent with putting in applications and asking people who are hiring for one. It takes a lot of work and patience sometimes, but everyone can work if they want. In my first job at a restaurant I worked with a man who had downs syndrome. He was a joy to watch and took much pride in the work he did. Also do not turn down any opportunities to work at anything. Anyone can get a job.It sounds like your "defeatist nature" as you call it is sabotaging all your dreams and goals right now. I want you to go to a doctor to see if you have depression, which is a medical condition. I think once this is treated you will find that this nature you think you have will subside, and you can start to take positive steps toward the goals you have. I also want to tell you that you are not a lost cause, or a bad person. You are not a failure at life, you have hardly started on one yet! If you would, take a look in the mirror each day and tell yourself the following:You are important. You are a good person.You deserve love. You deserve to be happy. You will succeed in life. I hope this little exercise will help your self esteem. I am sorry you feel how you do at this time, but please know you can have better from yourself. Look for family and friends and others who can reassure you. Stay away from any who are negative and may bring you down. Go get to the doctor, get a job, and take a class that you like and you will find that you can pass. Best of luck to you. I care about you. R
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A
female
reader, Arcanora  +, writes (2 July 2018):
 Your defeatist nature may be your first and most important obstacle. Who cares what people think of "mature students" or reaching your goals later than others. Living a life YOU are proud of is paramount. Speak to the advisers at universities or job centres to see what options there are (because there are many!)
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