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The last convo we had he said I was acting like a psycho and wants me to leave him alone. How do I fix all this?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2013) 11 Answers - (Newest, 1 November 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been dating this guy for aboyt 2 months. He has his own business and works crazy hours and gets stressed about it. In the beginning we spent a lot of time together. We went out and did enjoyable things together. Then he started a really huge project and has been slammed for the last month. Instead of understanding this I went off the deep end and started pressuring him to commit to me more. The other day I texted him (because I haven't seen him in a week due to his job) and told him it wasn't working out and I was moving on. He got mad that I didn't do it in person. We've been fighting for the last 3 days via text. The last convo we had he said I was acting like a psycho and wants me to leave him alone. Its been aday and a half and I'm going crazy . I want him back!!! I realized I was being desperate and unsupportive. Hes very busy and I should have respected that. Then I blow up on him. How do I fix all this? I stopped texting him hoping he would reach out to me but he hasn't. Please help me win him back. Only suggestions please. No overcritical judgements.

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A female reader, citadel Canada +, writes (1 November 2013):

Sorry, but he's a guy, I'm pretty sure you're done.

Don't take it personal. In your world relationships make the time and that's ok, that's normal. If a man is too busy during the first 2 3 months, he's not into you. But that means nothing but, thank god he got busy enough to let you know it before it became 4 months. Just remember that the guy who is right for you and him for you will not freak you out and make you go psyco. There will be a continued bliss of time spent together. That's how you roll, alot of people do.

However, just remember when you feel your going into psyco mode it means scream at a wall and know you are not in the right relationship. A man who is into you will make the time. Unless it's life or death. In this case it is a dead end relationship. Learn love move on. Move on as fast as lightening. Speed is of the essence.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013):

You're suffering the consequences YOU brought on yourself from being "psycho". If you don't leave him alone for good, after he has said he wants nothing more to do with you, then you're still continuing to be "psycho" and shows you haven't changed and are still being selfish.

It is best to learn from your mistakes and try harder not to do this to the next guy you get involved with.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 October 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agree with the others who say your ONLY hope is to leave him alone 100% and forget about him and move on with your life.

He probably will not contact you again and that's ok... after a mere two months you don't have a lot invested.

You barely know this guy to be honest since it's only been two months and for one of those months he was busy.

You got needy

he resorted to name calling

LEAVE HIM ALONE full time 100% give him a chance to breathe and think about it.

AND if he does contact you... be polite and friendly but do not gush and thank him or be psycho any more.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (31 October 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntSorry... but that ship only sails once.... and NOW, it's out of the harbor and YOU are stuck having to look for a NEW ship....

Good luck...

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (31 October 2013):

eyeswideopen agony auntDone bun can't be undone. If you try to win him back you'll only be pushing him further away. Leave him alone, he'll contact you if he changes his mind but I wouldn't put a hold on my life waiting for that to happen if I were you.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (31 October 2013):

chigirl agony auntI admit, I read the headline question and then got to the part where you say you've been with him two months.

I don't need more information, move on. After two months, if it's gone crappers it wont get better and isn't worth fixing either.

If a house is worth preserving there needs to be some reason behind it. Either people it's an actively used house that only needs small fixings here and there to continue working.. Or if it's a very old building that needs to be preserved for future generations to see. You don't, however, start heavy preservation and fixing on a two month old building who has already collapsed. No one is living there, the damages are too great, and it isn't old enough to even start thinking about being worth your while.

Move on! Build another house, on more solid foundations this time.

Now, I'll read through the rest and if if I need to add anything to my reply I'll come back to you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI suggest you leave him alone. You blew it.

Having ONLY know him 2 months and you put THAT much pressure on a guy who ACTUALLY had a good reason for not spending time with you 24/7 is not a very attractive and it is rather off putting.

He ASKED you to leave him alone. There is nothing you can do right now that will magically erase what you did from his mind.

LEARN from it and next time you met a guy, slow down and show some trust and respect.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013):

When someone tells you to leave them alone, you should leave them alone. What partof "leave me alone" did you not understand? Continuing to initiate any contact now is rude and violates the other person's boundaries. It is up to him to decise if he wants to talk to you, not for you to try to manipulate him.

if someone has told you in plain language to leave him alone, if you do not leave him alone it makes you a harrasser or like a stalker. He would have a right to take a restraining order on you.

You failed to respect his boundaries the first time when he had to work and you flipped out. Don't violate his boundaries again by contacting him when he told you to leave him alone.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (31 October 2013):

If there was a "cure" for being dumped, it would probably be going no contact. It may or may not work, but at least if it doesn't work you're going to be on your way to getting over them.

I wouldn't try visiting him at work or bringing him flowers... That just may confirm in his mind that you are a psycho.

Honestly, I think it's over. I'm sure he's aware that the two month mark is way too soon to be having such drama. His psycho comment kind of confirms that. Because of that I'd stick with no contact and hope for the best.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (31 October 2013):

llifton agony aunttell him you recognize your mistakes and you're very sorry for your lack of understanding. let him know you wish to reconcile and that the ball is in his court now. you won't contact him again unless he comes to you first.

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (31 October 2013):

fishdish agony auntGo find him at work, get him flowers, or order his workplace delivery for a late night at the office. Do something to show you care. Texts rarely do.

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