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The guy's a loser! He messes me about and yet I still have feelings for him!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 August 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I'm in love with is bloke who's a complete loser. For the past few years he's messed me about, he cheats on everyone I've ever know him to go out with and I don't even know why I'm in love with him. He's let me down so many times and whenever I've spent time with him it's always ended in tears because one minute I feel like he loves me too then he goes so cold on me and just ignores me for ages until the next time and the same thing happens again.

I just can't seem to move on from him. Every relationship I have seems to be second best to him and I'm always thinking about how much I fancy him and want to be doing things with him. Whenever I think I've moved on from him I see him again and I know I haven't.

How can you stop yourself from loving someone and moving on? I just can't seem to switch my feelings off however much I try. I just want to forget about him.

View related questions: move on

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006):

ahh...the "i don't want to feel anything for you" try listening to jeannie's song "crowded" in her own words, and i quote "i won't be second to none". it's very empowering. also ask yourself this: why do you always go for the wrong ones...or more like why do the wrong ones always appeal to you? maybe it's because you want to tame him, and you will feel a sense of fufilment in knowing this. or maybe you like the chase--no matter how much it hurts, and like waves at the seashore--you keep coming back for mmore. maybe you feel that he's the only one who will care for you and even if he does has his bad moments-who doesn't? right? well...wrong. don't let yourself go thruogh this. think POSOTIVE thoughts without him! he HURTS you! he mayes you cry. you want someone who makes you happy and giddy with joy. he's using you. do yourself better hun, and just forget him. how? go out with friends, or if thats not your thing, spend some time alone--take up writing, reading, music, art --anything! don't RUSH into a relationshop after a few months, your heart needs time to heal and it may take 4 months or even a year, but once you go through the intial hurt of letting him go and NOT going for anyone else anytime soon, then after you'll feel happier without him. :) hope that helps, and keep your head high as neyo's ex-girlfriend says "im so tired of being blue--crying over you"...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006):

You can stop yourself by analysing yourself first. Women who go for 'losers' are losers themselves. Now, I'm not saying the women are losers as in bad idiots, but losers as in they have some negative aspects inside of their emotional and mental structure. This could be a number of things - childhood upbringing or lack of, abuse of some sort, hanging around with certain crowds, interests that lead you to what you do today, etc, etc.

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