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The guy with the reputation treats me differently to everybody else, my friends don't trust him.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Flirting, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 March 2018) 7 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2018)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I have a crush on this guy. He's known for being a playboy, so i'm not sure it he has feelings for me or if he's just flirting by accident. However, he's even acting different towards me than he was acting towards the other girls he's hit on. He's opened doors, tried to get to know me personally more, tried to make me smile, complimented me (almost all of the time), and been really polite to ne. My friends all say he's an ass, but i dont see it because hes different withh me. What should I do? Should I confront him about it, and if so how? I dont want to lose him as a friend, and i don't want it to be awkward if he doesnt like me because i see him all of the time... Help!

View related questions: crush, flirt

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2018):

In this situation act coy and enjoy haha - why say anything at all ? He being charming and you can act all shy around it and like you haven't a clue.

It's time to learn how to box clever - he isn't going to be serious but who says you can't enjoy the special friendship and him.being charming?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (5 March 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntI doubt he is flirting by accident. If he has a reputation then it is there for a reason so listen to it. If he likes playing around then he is not going to change over night for you. You say he has been treating you differently, but you are only seeing what you want to see, I am sure he has done the same for the other girls he has tried to flirt with as well, you just haven't saw it. Don't fool yourself in to thinking that he is treating you different. He has a reputation for a reason and you should listen to it!

I think you should listen to your friends. He is different with you because he wants something. If he only acts nice to girls he wants to get with then it sounds like he is an ass and your friends are trying to look out for you. If he is your friend and you don't want to loose that then stop the flirting and tell him you are only interested in friendship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2018):

You're the perfect age to get broken-heart.

Things that are hazardous to your health or safety come with a warning.

You are hearing about this guy's reputation from a number of girls. He comes with a warning. If you're smart, you'll listen when people give you a heads-up!

Let him be charming. That's what makes a player a player. They have all the charm in the world. Too much of it. He's laying it on thick, and he has bad intentions for you.

If it was only one girl complaining; maybe she got ignored! You said "the other girls." It's a growing number!

So why would they all be lying about a boy who already has a reputation? That means that's what he's known for, and they know it to be true!

He's not treating you differently. He's treating you like a target!

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2018):

N91 agony auntCorrection:

'To get what you want' should read 'to get what they want'

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2018):

N91 agony auntBecause he isn't trying to get into your friends underwear.

When people have that kind of reputation it's there for a reason. They know how to treat girls to get what you want and he will of done what he's doing to you to many other girls in the past so don't feel special.

He will grow up in a few years time and treat women well because he wants a serious relationship. But for the time being he's young and will try to get with as many girls as possible.

When multiple people warn you of someone's reputation, it's a good idea to listen.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 March 2018):

Honeypie agony auntWhen a guy has a reputation for being a player, you need to pay attention.

Him opening doors and whatnot for you is PART of the "game-plan" otherwise he would DO it for everyone. He has picked you out for special treatment for whatever reason, most likely to charm you and get in your panties.

Don't be naive and think that he is doing all these little kind things because he want to be a "better guy" for you.

I'd just stick to being friends, OP A guy like that can be a great friend but a lousy BF.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntFirst of all, a teenage boy can't be a "playboy" - he's just a "player" or "user". You know he's like this, just not with you - that doesn't mean squat.

Maybe he PLAYS the gentleman because he knows his usual approach won't work with you and you're just another GAME. Once he knows you like him, he'll either feel he's "won" and drop you or he'll continue to charm you until you give him something you'll regret.

This is just a crush. Let it go. Don't flirt, don't giggle at his jokes, just be the same way you would with a brother or female friend.

Seriously, it sounds like this boy is nothing but trouble. Steer clear, focus on your studies and eventually find a guy who doesn't have a bad reputation - especially at such a young age!

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