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male
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*antino
writes: I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time 2 wks ago. It was my first time ever and i thought it was great, and so did she.......or so I thought. But i found a question on this website and im pretty certain it was from her(she uses this site aswell). I the question she says she didnt enjoy it(even though she told me to my face that she did). Im gutted coz it was my first time and i was really nervous and anxious to make it enjoyable for her. But now i feel kinda hung out to dry. She knew it was my first time but even so shes not cutting me any slack. Should i confront her about this, i mean im not 100% sure this question is from her. Im pretty sure though, but it would be taking a risk. How should i play this? The question (I suspect)ahe asked is below. Thanks.I had sex with my new boyfriend a few nights ago and I didnt enjoy it. Ive just come out of a long term relationship (3years), infact I kinda left my X for him. Ive spent months dreaming about our first time together but it didnt go as well as I hoped. He's very inexperienced, which I knew, but I couldnt get turned on, I mean wet, and it was so painful I had to ask him to stop several times, something that has never happened before. Is it normal for this to happen? I mean my X just knew how to turn me on in seconds, but the other night it was like we just couldnt click. I love my new guy so much, do we just have to get to know each other sexually? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2006): If you both cannot be honest with one another, understanding, patient, loving and willing to work out issues together...there is really no reason to be together.
You both should have spent more time building your relationship to a level where the first time would have been more...of taking the time to learn one another and discovering the other.
It sounds like it was just about let's have sex and see what it will be like.
The problem when people do not understand the true purpose of sexual intamacy and the power it can have when used appropriately, respectfully.
I say for now, don't worry.
Maybe go to her and tell her that you worry that you didn't get to please her as much as she needed and that you want to learn how to do so and hope that she will be patient with you and guide you on how to be a good lover for her and yourself. This is about being mutual.
Maybe do some research; head to the local Chapters and start looking for books on how to please her and what not.
Take it slow the next time around. Take time to add candles, a bubble bath to wash her or shower with her afterwards touching and massaging her body with tenderness and respect. Feed her some chocolate and fruit...it sounds cliche but it is effective. Romance her more and explore her body with your hands, fingers, lips, mouth, tongue...touch everywhere and listen to her breathing or her moans...this should be fun and exciting for you to discover what she likes.
Also, outside of the bedroom; work on building your friendship. NEVER stop DATING her.
Best of Wishes.
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