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The fact that I'm completely flat chested is really starting to affect me and my relationships

Tagged as: Dating, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm an 18 year old female and I am completely flat chested...and i am not exaggerating when i say this for effect, i am being completely honest, i have the chest and nipples of a 7 year old boy.

I have been on birth control pills for over 2 years for menstraul cycle regulation and even that hasn't helped them out in the least.

i know it's slightly silly to let it bother me so much but then again why should i be denied my women parts and my womanhood and to feel like a woman, and enjoy a functional relationship? i don't feel like a girl/woman, and i look at myself and am disgusted bc i see and feel more like a boy

it worries me bc it affects my relationships....and on the outside i play it up as if i'm proud of them, and i'm content with them, even though truthfully it kills me..... so even with being "confident" and "unphased" it ruins everything i have with relationships, especially sexually...i worry for my future relationships and for myself.... i've become a loner in the sense of a relationship world, a recluse, and when relationships start i've begun to end them myself prematurely bc of all the rejection .....and i know it shouldn't have to be like this

does anyone have any tips for the sake of at least my state of mind?

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (30 June 2012):

Anonymous 123 agony auntAs long as its not a health problem, please don't obsess about it. Small breasts are not affecting your relationships, you are ALLOWING yourself to think that they are. Honestly, any guy who is shallow enough to not like you because of your breast size is someone you don't even want in your life in the first place.

And might I add, you are so lucky!! You can wear anything and carry it off without looking vulgar, you can wear the skimpiest of tops and look like a supermodel!!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (30 June 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt I'll skip instead the " you are more than your breasts " and " small breasts can be very sexy too ".

That's true, of course, and I'll take it as a given.

BUT : small breasts ( barely filling an A cup ) are not a health problem.

A total underdevelopment of mammal glands, and lack of breast tissue, as you describe, generally is. It very possibly indicates hormonal inbalances ( too little estrogens, or too many androgens ). That brings to other health problems down the road.

What does your OB/GYN say ? And, most of all, have you seen an endocrinologist ?....

Make sure there is nothing pathological in your lack of chest, THEN you can worrry about Wonderbras or whatnot.

Health before looks, always.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012):

Ahhh HELLO! Look at supermodels! Alot of them are flat and considered to be the most beautiful women around! Find acouple of people with a similar body type and use them as role models. Just google 'supermodel' and you'll see so many images of thin flat chested beauties! Also, there are lots of guys that love legs or hair or butts or faces....accentuate what you have!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012):

Talk to your doctor about it.

If it is severely worrying you and affecting your life, then yes, there is always the option of having a slight breast enhancement. In general I think that plastic surgery is shallow and society's obsession with it is hideous.

BUT, when something is bothering you so much as to affect your mental health and relationships, then sometimes it's better to just bite the bullet and do the one thing that will make you feel better.

I speak from experience. I've always had terrible bags under my eyes and after suffering from life threatening meningitis, and being on steroids for a year - they got much worse.

I looked 10 years older, everyone commented on how tired I looked, even though I felt fine. I was considering surgery and a friend said to me "wait a year. if you still feel just as bad about things, then go for it." That's what I did. Best decision ever. I still look like me. But I look like a happier, more confident me, who doesn't obsess over one thing about my appearance, because its simply not an issue anymore. I hope that helps.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (30 June 2012):

person12345 agony auntFirst I'm going the "you're more than your breasts" bit. Large breasts get a lot of attention, but it's not the kind of attention that gets you a boyfriend, or any kind of quality guy. Getting stared at is not the same as finding a relationship. You are a loner/a recluse because you are choosing to be one, not because people don't want to be around a woman with a flat chest. Sexy is not the way you look, it's the way you act. My friend who gets by far the most male attention is certainly not the most physically attractive, she has no defined waist to speak of, a small chest, an average face, and no particularly striking features. But she is the most confident woman I know, she almost never second-guesses herself, and she is very outgoing. When she walks into a room you can tell she's not thinking to herself, "what if they don't like me, what if my ____ is ugly," you know she's thinking "yay this is fun, people like me and I like them!" It's cheesy but you need to tell yourself that you are sexy, you are fun, and you are awesome. When you walk into a room of people say it in your head over and over and over, so "loudly" that you don't have room for other thoughts. It really does help, trust me.

Second off, there are plenty of non-surgical enhancement options for flat-chested women, like breast forms you wear inside a bra if you are truly flat, or heavily padded bras if you are an A or above. The silicone breast forms sound a little weird at first, but don't let that dissuade you from trying them if you think it would help you feel more confident.

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