A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 6 months recently proposed. After discussing, we decided to wait on the engagement because it seemed too early. I'm very much in love with him, but I wanted more time before that kind of commitment. Our relationship is going strong 1 month later, but I keep thinking about the ring. He designed a ring himself and bought it when I was under the impression that he was going to let me pick a ring. It is a beautiful ring, but it's not the one that I envisioned wearing for the rest of my life. I like it, but it's not perfect... I know we will get engaged one day, most likely with the same ring (I doubt he would have/could have returned it) and I'm very worried that I will hurt his feelings if I ask him to change it in any way. He's been wonderful, but it hard enough on a guy to feel like his proposal wasn't perfect... then finding out that the girl doesn't like the ring he put time into designing might make things a lot worse.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, skye  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Are you sure you really want to change it? Afterall, your soon-to-be fiancee went to a lot of trouble to find a ring he believed you would like. So what if it is not exactly what you envisioned? The best things rarely are. It is yours and he designed it especially for you, so it is totally unique.
My husband designed my engagement ring and I wouldnt change it for the world! Although I loved my ring from the first moment I saw it. His proposal and our engagement was a total surprise to me and hardly "perfect" in some peoples eyes; but honestly I wouldnt have had it any other way!
I think you could be making a mistake if you choose to change your ring. You could come to regret it in a few years. It is a symbol of his love for you. HE choose it for YOU, and you alone, as a wonderful, beautiful surprise. Im sure you wouldnt want to alter that.
If you really want to choose your own ring, then tell your partner what you want to do and ask him to allow you to choose your own ring. He probably will be a bit hurt at first, but he loves you and Im sure he would want you to have the best.
Take care,
Skye
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